You’ve just been tasked with finding the perfect item to house a part of your soul, an item that will keep you alive indefinitely as long as it’s kept safe. In the Harry Potter universe, this item is known as a horcrux. How do you choose what to use? Well, we put together a list of ideas that He Who Must Not Be Named Probably should have considered.
Side note, horcruxes are evil. We just really love Harry Potter and like talking about the series.
1. An Old-School Brick Phone: In addition to being virtually indestructible, these retro phones are easy enough to hide. It would be interesting to see who would prevail between one of these bad boys and a poke from Godric Gryffindor’s sword. Now that’s a question for the philosophers . . . or J. K. Rowling.
2. A Penny: With so many billions of pennies hanging around, it would take an army of people smacking basilisk fangs into coins to have any hope of destroying the one housing your soul. Meanwhile, you could toss the real one into the sea or spend it on penny candy. Either way, it’s pretty safe to say this bad penny won’t be found (hopefully).
3. A Chair: There are a lot of chairs in the world. All you’d need to do is visit some obscure restaurant, make the transfer, and then slide back home without anyone noticing what you’re doing.
4. A Grain of Sand: Can you imagine the headache anyone trying to find your horcrux would get when they found out you chose to hide your soul in a grain of sand? You’d be set for life… or eternity.
5. A Random Rock: Toss that sucker in a river and you’re good to go!
6. Your TV Remote: After all, no one seems to ever be able to find it. It’s perfect!
7. A Harry Potter Book: What better place to hide your soul than the books where the concept began? Even Lord Voldemort himself would be proud of your sentimentality.
Did you notice, by the way, that our list has seven options, just like the number of Horcruxes Voldemort had?