Why Is It Always Me

By @friedasut

Why Is It Always Me

By @friedasut

For some bizarre reason it's always me, I don't know why and the amount of times I ask myself I can't seem to think of an answer. I was bullied my whole life and I still am. But when an certain professor inspires me it seems like my life is about to turn upside down, I was sick and tired of being everybody's punching bag I was ready to fight back, but I wasn't sure if I knew how to. I can't help but ask, Why is it always me? Well that's what I want to figure out.

Chapter 1

Again

The tomato splattered across my face -ow, I thought to myself it’s okay, don’t cry, don’t show them your weakness, don’t show them your emotion. Who am I why would anybody care, I was and still am a nobody nerd that was and still is constantly being bullied, nobody cared, nobody tried to stop it, they just watched as I swallowed down the pain and my feelings and then returned to what they were doing. Who am I? Sometimes I don’t even know. My name is Jacklyn Luna Brown, yeah brown like the color, go ahead laugh, everybody else does. I am short, I have wavy black hair, round black glasses, and dimples; but everyone’s too busy throwing tomatoes at my face to even care what I look like, I told you, I’m nobody, this has been my life for the past 16 years and it will probably stay this way. My mom and dad think I’m over reacting when I tell them about it so, I just suck up the pain and pretend the next day will be better; but it never is, because for some reason it’s always me. I wash the tomato juice off of my face and out of my hair, I then clean my glasses and sigh, okay we’re about to go back out there compose yourself and be ready for anything I tell myself, walking out of the bathroom I heard someone call out, “Yo Brown, how’d you like that tomato, maybe I’ll bring another one tomorrow”, I freeze as I recognize the voice, that belongs to the one and only Peter, the jock king of our high school, I ignore his comment and keep walking, “Yo Brown, Peter shouts again, I was talking to you, you do not get to walk away, English homework for the next month if not I’ll make sure you fail PE, do you understand ?” Sighing not wanting this day to get any worse I turn around and look him straight in the eye “Of course anything for you, your highness” I bow and turn back around and keep walking. “Two months and it better all be right, Brown, or else.” Yes sir I say running off before I get myself in more trouble with the prince of the school. Walking down the hall someone throws a tomato straight at my face, not again I think to myself; but the impact never came, I slowly open my eyes ready for a sneak attack, it doesn’t come, and then I see a freshman girl is on the floor the tomato all over her face, she took the bullet for me, no one’s ever done that for me before, I’ve never been so thankful but as I turn down to thank the freshman 10 tomatoes are thrown at me from different directions and water is spilt on top of my head and that freshman girl is laughing and taking pictures of me, it was another prank, I stand there and as they attack me I let my mind travel elsewhere far into my imagination, where there are no bullies and I was actually liked by people, 30 minutes later the bell rings for class and everyone’s gone I slowly open my eyes and I return to reality; but on my favorite copy of Harry Potter in big red letters are written, learn your place, because there’s no Hogwarts for a witch like you, I look both ways down the halls and when I see that no one’s in sight I break down, tears streaming down my face my chest aching in pain and all I wanted to do was scream, my emotions we’re begging to show I’ve kept them bubbled up for so long, for 3 years, that the weight of them grew heavier and heavier I just needed to let them out. This is my life and no matter how many times I ask myself the question, I can’t figure out the answer, why is it always me. “Miss Brown, are you alright?” I jump back in surprise and in fear but when I see my English Professor standing before me I force myself to compose my emotions I then dry my eyes and answer, “oh yes I’m fine Professor, in fact I should go the bell rang a few minutes ago and I can’t be late to class.” The Professor looked at me and it felt as he was he was able to read exactly what I was thinking. “If you say so Miss Brown, but before you leave let me ask you this, would you rather walk out of school as a warrior who fought back or as a punching bag to all those around you, the choice is yours, and for all you know you might surprise yourself and learn more about yourself than you ever knew, and you might answer the question you keep asking yourself and you might understand that everything happens to you for a reason rather than just because the world hates you, keep that in mind, well then I’ll let you get to class, don’t want you to be late now do we, goodbye Miss Brown.” I just stared as my professor walked away from me, I slowly stood up and grabbed a sharpie marker and let’s just say Peter will find a surprise on his locker. I didn’t want to be a punching bag anymore in fact I was sick and tired of what my life had become, and everything was going to change because instead of asking why it always happens to me, I was going to ask how can I make this affect me to be a better person. The first thing on my list, was to show Peter I was no longer afraid of him and that he no longer had any control over me, stepping back I look at my work on Peter’s locker my note reads, Dobby is a free house elf and now so am I, I am no longer a subject to fear and you and everybody else will have no control over me, beware I’m fighting back, and I’m armed with courage, you should be scared, signed Brown, Jacklyn Brown.

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