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Where did all those butterflies go?

By @munecava73

first sight

I will admit it’s not easy to look back on 31 years of a relationship that started when I was 17 years old. Or even earlier than that. When I met him I was newly 17. It was Dec of 1990. So much has happened since then. Its so hard to capture those feelings I had back then at age 17. Her I am age 48 now. I remember some of that morning. It was Saturday. It was a day my family would set aside for chores and preaching and Bible studies. But what I do remember is that we were doing chores and Alicia called. She was going to go on a date with this guy, Eddie and they were going to the movies. And at the time Eddie was… it was new it was a new relationship. They had met ah I can’t even really remember but I think He was going to school all the way in Queens. He was in Aviation high-school and he had a couple of friends with him nd one of them was Edwin and another guy I can’t remember his name. And later on it will become clear why I remember Edwin. So that morning In December of 1990 Alicia called me and she was going on this date with this Eddie and I guess he was bringing a friend with him and Alicia was going to introduce Kathy to him to the friend. And she asked “Hey do you want to come down with us we are going to meet and go to the movies in 86th street and of course I asked my parents and I guess I should just feel lucky they agreed to allow me a couple of hours to go to hang out with Alicia and I guess the lie was she was going to do a little shopping before going to the movies. I couldn’t go to the movies. I had a curfew which was a couple of hours away and they said yeah you can go with Alicia and do the shopping and come right on back. You cannot go to the movies. I think my curfew for the day was like 4pm. So I met Alicia and I know we rode all the way downtown together so I met her in probably in Burnside. Sje lived on the other side of the Grand concourse and so I walked over to Burnside and met her at Jerome and Burnside under the train station. And alot of times we would go to the corner store and pick up gum or drinks and then we got on the number 4 going downtown. We had a few stops i think we had 4 or 5 stops till we met Kathy. And if I remember correctly we met Kathy at 149th street because Kathy was coming from the Grand Concourse but on the 5 line. So we met her in 149th street and then we took the train couple more stops to 125th street. And then that’s where we were going to meet Virginia who lived on the 6th line and so we all met on 125th street. There was so much excitement. Kathy was going to meet a guy. Before that she didn’t have much luck. She was very pretty. She was eldest of 4 kids. She was the only girl. She had a bunch of little brothers and if I remember correctly it was 3 of them. Her mom was a baker. Her dad sold fruit from a truck, They really cherished her. But she didn’t have a boyfriend. I did have a boyfriend. I was dating Willie and we had been dating more than a couple of weeks. So while they were all excited to meet Eddie and his friend I said well I am going to call Willie from the pay phone on the platform so I had to go to the newsstand at the middle of the platform to get some change and boy did it **** people off because I was on the phone with Willie a while and there was people waiting for the phone and they were like Hurry up. and there was this lady and she got nasty and I got nasty right back because I was 17 and I felt invincible and I was in love with him, I was trying to convince him to meet me so we could have some time together even though it was going to be short but he had hurt himself playing street football with his brothers and some guys from his block. And so he couldn’t and he said we should get off the phone so that lady could use the phone and he had to go. So I accepted it. The way it used to be the 4 and 5 trains would be could down on the same track and the 6 which was coming from the other side of the Bronx would come down across the platform on the other track. and so here I am telling my boyfriend oh i wish we could be together. I have a little time and I guess Alicia saw Eddie on the arriving 6 train and he comes out and behind him comes this tall guy. Her was really tall and I remember he had a brown leather jacket on and he had curly black hair and I thought he was so cute. And so I walked over to them all and I was introduced to this friend of his. His friend’s name was Freddy. I will not lie I was very mesmerized by this guy. He was tall. He was very cute. But again he was there to see our friend Kathy. It was suppose to be a set up. And I will admit I had some stupid ways of dealing with things when I was younger. When I liked a guy i was very playful and some of it was real annoying. Thinking back on it it was real annoying. But that’s the way I was. So we all rode the train down to 86th street which was another few stops because on the weekends all of the trains went local. So we rode don to 86th street and when you come up to the street from the underground station you are on 86th street and Lexington. Right there on the corner is this music store called HMV. I loved the music store so much. My family was big on music. My dad loved Jazz and Salsa. My mom loved oldies and RnB. We listen to music while we were doing our chores. We would listen to music all the time. My dad had been building up his sound system so we would have music playing through out the house but the rule was when a slow jam would play we had to lower it because Christine would cry every time. So anyway I loved going to HMV but no body that day wanted to go to HMV and right next door to the music store was the Lowes theater and that’s where Freddy and Kathy and Eddie and Alicia were going to go on their date. They looked at the showtimes and it was still a little time before it started so we decided to walk down 86th street. There were lots of restaurants and i think the Gap was there and it was just really nice. They had the Papaya King. They had California Burrito which was one of my favorite spots. We walked down street and during that time in the early 90s there was in Living Color and there was this skit with Damon Wayans and he played a homeless guy and he would have a balled up sock and he would hit people and say “homie don’t play that!” And I was doing that to everybody. Ugh I was annoying! But they were laughing but the attention wasn’t on me. The attention was on Kathy who was talking to Freddy and Alicia talking to Eddie. But not on me because I wasn’t a part of that scenario. But I was immediately attracted to this tall guy. We kept walking down the block and then back up the other side of the street and then it was time to start parting ways. Right around that time there was a lot of commotion and we could hear sirens of the police car and there was shooting while they were chasing somebody. We were back on the corner of 86th and Lexington and I grabbed Freddy’s arm and pulled him and hid behind him and i told him he was going to be my protection and shield me. And I just literally just really like him a lot. But again he was there for Kathy. So it turns out Virginia couldn’t go and had to get back home too. On the weekends she would go and see her dad. So we were both going to travel back home to the Bronx together and we said our goodbyes to the couples. I was so disappointed because I didn’t have that freedom to do things when I was a teenager. I has a a lot of responsibilities surrounded around the family and our beliefs because we were very religious. we went to a lot of bible meetings through out the week. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays we did preaching on Saturdays and we went to meetings on Sunday. for the most part the only time I got any freedom was when I was in school. So they go on their date and I don’t remember whether or not Alicia had called me after the date I am pretty sure she didn’t and Sunday we had Bible meetings so i didn’t hear anything right away because we were also on winter break from school. Well eventually I get filled in about the date. It was kind of funny because they got snacks and they sit down and somebody had a kid and they ran thru the aisle and dropped all of their snacks. But things didn’t really click between Freddy and Kathy and I am not even sure how long after that date but she made a decision that she was going to let him know. So we get back to school after the winter break and Alicia, Kathy, Virginia and I were all planning on hanging out a little after school and so we went to Kathy’s house and we were planning to see a movie . We were going to see “Jungle Fever” and she called Freddy’s house and I remember the first time she called there some one answered and said he wasn’t home but you know call back at such and such time he’ll be back. she calls back and when he gets on the phone she says to him “Hey Freddy listen we didn’t click so that’s it.” And I guess he must have asked for an explanation and she said ” look there’s no chemistry!” And oh mu gosh i thought that was so funny and so while she is saying it and his little ego was taking a hit I was sitting with them and full on laughing till there was tears in my eyes. And you know thinking back about it she was kind of cold about it. But I guess she didn’t like Freddy and so when she said it it sounded so mean and he must’ve repeated “No chemistry?” and she said “yeah ok well bye.” And that was the whole conversation. I guess he confided in his best friend Eddie about what was going on and then it goes from him back to Alicia. Eddie said ” Yo your friend Kathy she called Freddy and broke his heart”.

After that there was another time that Eddie and Alicia went out and Alicia invited Virginia. By this time Kathy had moved onto another guy. Virginia started talking to Fred. They were getting to know each other on the phone. They really didn’t have much dates because Virginia’s dad was elderly and he would have visitation with her and her little brother on the weekends. So a lot of times Freddy would try to make dates with Virginia and she would say yeah that will be great and then she would have to break them. And Freddy was getting frustrated with her doing that. So back to this date between Eddie and Alicia and Virginia was with them and they went to pick up Freddy at his house and Fred’s grandmother was there and I guess she must’ve come out when Freddy was going out to meet them and Virginia made a comment about Fred’s Grandmother’s hair and that it was so red it she looked like a clown. I only know that Fred was really annoyed with that. He was really close to his grandparents so that really bothered him that she said that.

Now we are going into warmer weather it’s May. Willie and I were done. I started talking to Edwin and he actually lived closer so we would occasionally meet up to make out and he always tried to get me to go to his apartment but I kept saying no I couldn’t because he just wanted to **** me.

Fred worked part time after school at his dad’s lawyer’s side hustle. So he would work after school Monday Thru Friday. Friday he would always have money cause he got paid. So this business every summer would have this trips where they would rent out a bus and then invite friend’s and family to like Dorney Park. And everyone would spilt the cost of the bus and the entrance fee for the two parks and spend all day there and then get back on the bus and travel back to the Bronx. So this was going to be it. Fred and Virginia were finally going to have their date together. Virginia’s dad had money. He was an old man and he had some other kids but they were all adults and so he really dotted on his daughter and so she had no problem paying for the trip. In was invited and I couldn’t go because we didn’t have any money. I was the oldest of five and my dad was the only one that worked and so he was always playing catch up with the bills. So Freddy was going to go with Virginia. Eddie was going to go with Alicia and then Fred’s cousin Ray was also invited but he was going solo. Later on I found out they were going to try to fix me up with Ray but again I didn’t have the funds to go. So Ray was trying to meet someone too on the trip. The trip time comes and Virginia’s Dad was in the hospital so she couldn’t go. Fred was heartbroken again. So it was too late for Virginia to get her money back so Alicia called me and asked me if I wanted to go in her place. I presented the opportunity to my parents and begged them saying it’s free and low and behold my parents agreed to allow me to go to another state,,, with people they didn’t know… 108 miles away… 2 hours away from them. My life was about to begin.

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