I wish I was that heroic. I’m just a mental girl they needed to keep locked up so she wouldn’t hurt anyone.
“I have a mental disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. I grew up in Northern Ireland. My parents were pleasant people who worked hard to raise their crazy daughter. There has always been something wrong with me, but we didn’t know what until I turned 15 because my parents couldn’t afford it. When the doctors informed my parents of my disorder, their reactions were fairly different. My ma started bawling, and my dad just stood there, but when the realization hit, he started effin’ and blindin’ the doctor. But, even though they reacted differently, they both wanted to know one thing. How to fix me.
“The doctor told them about an institute in America that treated young girls with mental illnesses, so they packed my stuff and shipped me overseas.
“When I arrived at the institute, the first thing they did was check my belongings. They threw away almost everything I owned, including my drawers. The only thing they let me keep were Alice in Wonderland, Heidi, and the necklace I was wearing because I kicked and screamed when they wouldn’t lay off and quit trying to take it.
“I was there for 2 years until they decided they couldn’t handle me because the treatment they gave me only made me worse. So, they shipped me to the Allentown State Hospital in Pennsylvania. I was there until I attacked my therapist and 7 nurses because they wouldn’t stop bloody touching me. I was only there for about 8 months. They then sent me to a facility in Colorado.
“Everything they did there was for my well fair. They let me care for myself, which is something I hadn’t been able to do for ages. My parents passed away a year after I got to Colorado, and when they told me, I hashed it all up.
“If someone touched me, I bit them. If someone touched my belongings, I threw that item at them, which, more often than not, broke it, which made me even madder. So, I locked myself in my quarters and tried to fix it. If someone confronted me about my behavior, I cursed them out and belted them until the nurses had to sedate me. But, they never sent me away. They kept me safe when the authorities tried to take me away. When I turned 20, my auntie sent me a birthday gift, from my parents. They knew they would be gone before I turned of age, so they told my auntie to give me my gift.
“It was a tea set I had when I was young, all of my baby pictures, and my parent’s wedding bands. That sent me over the edge. I was even more nuts and aggressive, and when the medical director died, it got even more awful. Because I wasn’t safe anymore.
“The police seized all of my files. Including the ones about my outbreaks. All of my nurses were fired because they hadn’t reported my behavior and I got imprisoned for something I have no control over.”