He walked slowly into the classroom with his hands dug deep inside his pockets. He didn’t look up at the person who had held the door for him; his eyes stayed fixated on the floor. When he made it to the back of the classroom, he took his seat next to her and didn’t look up to see her face.
Neither of them knew what to say to each other. There was nothing that would fix the situation that they were stuck in. Nothing could change his mom’s mind and they knew that. Therefore, they didn’t try to.
It stayed like that for a while. It was silent as both of them got lost in their thoughts. The class was quiet too. It was weird because this class was never quiet like this. Everyone was always excited and laughing; always cracking jokes with the teacher and whatnot. Nobody knew about what happened between the two, but their sadness wasn’t unnoticed by anyone in there.
“What’d she say?” Jasmine finally decided to speak up, knowing that they should talk about it within the ten minute period that they had together. It was also minimum day, and they didn’t have any of their classes with each other. Therefore, they took advantage of the fact that they sat together in homeroom.
He shook his head and pulled his hand from his pocket slowly. Roberto held a lined paper that was folded at least five times. He looked at it for a second before he held it out toward her.
“Read that in your first period.” He said quietly before she had finished opening it. His eyes stayed fixated on it until she had folded it back up and put it away.
“I got my phone taken. I can’t really talk to you anymore.” Roberto responded with a shrug of his shoulders. He didn’t look up to see her beautiful face. He kept his voice quiet as he aimed to keep it steady. He didn’t want to break because he never let people see him when he did. Though he was soft and emotional, it was uncharacteristic of him to break out in tears when he was in pain. Whether it was physical or emotional.
“Same.” Jasmine responded vaguely, unsure of what to say next. The atmosphere was full of apprehension and awkwardness, which made it only that much harder to just look each other in the eyes and speak.
This situation had rung him out as if he were an old rag . It didn’t end until he was dry inside. Just simply trying to imagine what her life would have been like without him was almost impossible.
Jasmine had known Roberto since Kindergarten, and they’d been best friends since the forth grade. Even trying to imagine a time where she hadn’t talked to him was just impossible. Losing him as a lover was horrible by itself. However, losing her best friend would make everything so much worse.
Roberto slouched in his seat, staring at the swirls of oak on the table. Jasmine played with the note that she held, looking over at him with so many different emotions played across her expression as if a movie.
“She said we are too young,” Roberto finally comments. She was taken off guard by his sudden comment and lifted a curious eyebrow. When he could practically hear her confusion, he decided to go on.
“Kids. Marriage. We didn’t need to talk about it. We are too young, she said.” Roberto elaborated, finally sitting up and turning to give her his full attention. He was fine until he looked. He knew that if he looked at her, he was going to lose his mind. He was going to drive himself insane because she wasn’t going to belong to him anymore. He knew that if he looked, he was going to remember that there was nothing he could do about any of this.
Roberto looked away for a few moments, throwing his head forward so that he stared at the ground. He chuckled painfully, licking his lips and swallowing hard. He began to tap his foot and bounce his leg up and down as he tried to halt his tears.
“Bobby, you look like you’re about to cry.” Kate commented from the other side of the table. He nodded his head and Jasmine watched as his expression began to break as if it were crumbling into pieces slowly.
“Yeah.” Roberto responded in a small whimper before he lowered his head away from Jasmine’s sight.
Hesitantly, she slid her hand into his. She’d never seen him cry before. As many times as she said she’d hold him, kiss him, and just be there for him however he needed her to, she had no idea how to do it right now.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled as he still faced away from her. Jasmine just shook her head slowly.
Homeroom went by quickly because it felt like five minutes before the bell rang. He usually walked her to class, but today he only stood, kissed her on the cheek, and left quickly. Jasmine didn’t try to call him back because he was already headed for the further side of the school and she was only turning a corner. She wanted to get a chance to read this note anyway.
Everyone noticed that she’d walked alone, and turned to stare. Casi (They called him by his last name) and Jasmine were usually together. If one was without the other, the missing half was sure to come running over soon enough.
She took her seat in the back of the classroom, not hesitating to reach into her pocket for the letter. She didn’t bother to open her computer and get started on the classwork.
Hey Jaz, (read this on your own time and don’t show anyone)
This might be the last time I ever write a letter for you. I just wanted to make it clear that it’s been great hanging out. It really has, but I’m afraid we can’t anymore.
Jasmine felt her smile quickly fade away just after reading the first paragraph. Even if she knew this wouldn’t end well, she decided to continue reading.
Don’t give up on your life because there is so much good to it. You can find someone better than me and live your life with them. There will be better, more good looking guys that are waiting for you out there.
Just as expected, her eyes began to burn and sting. Her heart began to beat three times faster and she failed to impede her tears from falling. She was silent and didn’t make one sound, but she cried herself a river right in that seat.
She knew this was going to happen, but she just wasn’t ready to accept it. She wasn’t ready to lose him at all. However, she continued on.
I really will miss you, I really will. This is one of the first times that I will admit that I’m actually just torn. I’m so upset and I haven’t been in so long. Not to be weird, I’ve just cried so much knowing that I won’t be with you again because of our imaginations, and trying to imagine a future together. What hurts most was the fact that my mom told me I needed to keep my focus and not talk about such unnecessary things. She told me that I needed to experience my first heartbreak. It cut me pretty deep, and you know I forgive easily but this is going to take time to forgive and forget.
Then, she noticed that she wasn’t going to be able to keep quiet anymore. She wiped her eyes and composed herself enough to ask her teacher if she could use the restroom. Some of the students stared at her because it was obvious that she was hurt, but she was just bottling it up as she usually did.
She walked quickly out of the room and just broke down into sobs. Jasmine kept walking, she didn’t know where she was going to go, but she kept walking. There was no reason for her cries to stay quiet anymore so she didn’t strain herself from letting them out.
She wiped her eyes again and again as if the tears were done falling. When she finally lifted her head to look at where she was walking to, she saw one of the staff administrators walking toward her. Jasmine knew her pretty well due to the fact that her mother was friends with everyone working in the staff. Especially the principal, who happened to be Casi’s dad.
“Hey sweetheart, how’s it going?” Mrs. Will asked with a big smile on her face. It took her a few moments before she noticed the tears continuously falling from Jaz’s eyes. “Hey kiddo, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” She stepped closer and put a hand on her back.
Jaz shook her head. “Something happened over the weekend.” She responded vaguely. It was too hard to see, talk, or think when she was crying this much. Mrs. Will nodded her head because she understood that maybe it was something that was hard for her to share.
“Okay. Well you can go sit in my office if you’d like. Is there anyone you’d want to see?” She offered kindly. Jasmine thought about it, she really did want to ask if Casi could just come and sit with her in the office. However, she realized Mrs. Will was probably referring to an adult. After a few moments of wondering whether she would ask or not, she finally shook her head no.
“Okay kid. Go to my office, I hope everything gets better.” She smiled, patting her back gently before she walked away.
Jasmine kept her head down and her hood on. Even though she knew Mrs. Will’s office was just twenty steps away, she walked slower so that it was maybe forty. Roberto would tell her that whenever she was upset about anything, he could tell from a mile away. It was the way that she walked or the way her eyes fell.
She opened the door to the “student services” section of the office instead of entering through the main door. There were usually more people in there; she really didn’t want to see anyone and she didn’t want anyone to see her.
Though she wasn’t too sure of which office was Mrs. Will’s she entered the room closest to the back of the main office. It was dark in there, and no on else was in the room, so there was a large chance it was hers.
Jasmine took a seat in the chair behind the desk because she didn’t want anyone to see her if they walked by. The only other chair in the room could be seen from outside of the door.
She just put her head down on the desk and sobbed. When the ten minute bell rang, she would wait five minutes before she went back to class.
She saw Mr. Casi come check on her every now and then just to make sure she was okay. He had always cared about her, and he still did. He had nothing to do with the decisions that his wife made because Mrs. Casi didn’t let anyone else have a say in what happened.