I was heartbroken.Another rejection from one of my crushes.See?..that’s why you should write about your feelings only in letters and NEVER send them, ’cause you are always too timid to handle a heartbreak .But anyway,it was the most serious one.I was obsessed with him.If he missed school I was a sobbing mess.I stared at him all day.Sounds filmy,right?Well,it kinda was.But he rejected me straight up.No hesitation,wow.Half of my classmates rejected me when I proposed them in middle grades.Sad..?.No ! because when we grew up a little bit and I started wearing shorter skirts and full sleeves(we had a school uniform) they came jumping to me and then,guess what, I proudly rejected them .One of the reason was this guy.Tall but not a strong jock neither skinny ,wavy hair, had a sense of humor and sarcastic.I felt the crush on him when I got a punishment in class and my seat got replaced and there I was,beside him.I had known him for more than a year but that’s the first time I noticed him.After that it was my daily routine to do at least a thing to make him notice me.Keeping chocolates in his bag secretly, writing love quotes (copied from google)on his bench with markers,placing small chits of paper overflowing with hearts and love poems in his hands,pushing myself on him and saying..”ummm.sorry”with less voice and more breathing…but nothing helped.I should have got some award for remaining so incredibly invisible to him.
Random fact:He was very good at literature(though I never saw him with Wuthering Heights ..)but was not least romantic,how odd! So after almost a year of swooning over him ,I got the impression that he will never going to acknowledge me.I was naive.I got “depressed”.
So after high school drama, I got admission to this university.
I stood in the hallway to my dorm with one good reason.To find a bad-boy-boyfriend.Don’t you dare come to me and shout in my ears:you came here to STUDY.. I know ,right?I will manage that but first I need a untidy-smoking-weed-doing-party-all-night roommate through whom I will meet my bad boy.The hallway was buzzing with newcomers, finding and settling in their rooms just how I dreamed it to be.I felt so good untill I realised almost everyone have found their rooms and I was still wandering about.And that’s when Mr. anxiety kicked in.
‘ummm..okay..relax..we will find room…its nothing..’
‘okay but what if I am in the wrong college.what if I never got admission..what if..’
I started sweating.After 15 more minutes I realized I was on the wrong floor.(surprise,surprise).It took me another 15 to find out my room which was on the floor above. A smile broke on my face when I saw the other bed was untidy…but .not .with .the things I expected.
Books, books and socks and there she was with pencil between her lips ,writing furiously in some notebook. ***** nerd.or…a super nerd.Now I do hope it’s the wrong room.But me being me and not all those lucky i-am-unique-and -boring-and-i-hate-dating girls who always get super triple x roommates,started organising my things.Finally I took some rest and glanced at her and she glanced at me .I smiled ,she did too and there was something happening between us…
“Hello..I am ..Sophie”
“You studying?”(no I am not blind ,it’s just a manner of speaking)
..was it supposed to be a romantic convo?because I was getting the idea that we both have social anxiety issues. So now I have to hunt down Mr bad boy myself.Amazing.