Him or Me

By @nikocaesar

Chapter 1


One more

One more battle to be won, one more life to be lived

One more shard of broken glass added to my towering masterpiece I have built

One more chisel off of the statue

One more plea for help

One more perfunctory nod followed by the everpresent I know

I know what I am

I know what I do

I know that I am wrong and I am crude

I know my battle will never be won

I know the anxiety

I know the perturbation

I know the attacks and the defenses

I know the reason for my sanity

I know the reason for my unsanity

I know myself inside and out

I see potential

I see withered

I see threadbare paths paved by my own angst

I see my future

I do not like what I see

I know what I must do

I know the direction I must go in, the path that I need to follow

But no

I cannot

How could I

I have put up so many facades that I no longer know which ones are not real

And which ones I have to live in torment with

I no longer know

I no longer know who I am

I no longer know what I have done

Am I finished? 

What was this for

A simple cry for love and affection and attention that I already get

That I know so many do not

This is my cry

This is my way

I need you

I need myself

The one that I know

Not that one

The one who takes thirty minutes to go to the bathroom

What would happen is he didn’t touch the carpet with the back end of his foot

Or position his toothbrush charger parallel to the lines on the counter next to the sink

What would happen

What would happen if he stopped

What would happen if it was all over 

If the charade was uncovered

If the battle was lost

Who would win

Him or me?

Comments On This Chapter

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry
Comment 0 Comments

Similar Stories

Similar Titles