“Death!, Deathy!, are you okay” “ughhh… Hmmm? Ya i’m okay” “Oh thank God” “You’re welcome” “Oh uhh Life I…” “Oh it’s fine… Hey you three he’s awake!” “He’s awake?” “Seems so?” “Why else would she call us?” “Don’t know why all you guys are worried about him…” “Shut up Ares!” “So Deathy what happened?” “Pfffft Deathy? Really?” “Shhh we need to know what happened” “yupper” “Yes we do” “Yup” “Okay so it all started when…”
Death walked into God’s bedroom. God was hugging a pillow asleep, Death shook her to wake her up but she just rolled over, still hugging the pillow. The pillow was an anime body pillow of Sebastian. Death sighed and asked “What am I going to do with you..? And if a human ever saw you…” God still not opening her eyes but still as snarky as ever said “Well I don’t know Mr. Traditional, but at least I know what they mean if they mention fidget spinners” “I know what those are! It’s a mode of transportation… right?” “No, no, no, it’s like a tiny UFO you spin it on your fingers” “Why would anyone want one?” “I don’t know… It’s like a tiny hula hoop and we both know those got popular!” “Would you a least open your eyes for me?”. God moaned and opened her eyes and asked “What is it you waked me up for anyway?” Death started to answer “Oh yes tha-” God giggled. Annoyed Death asked “Do you even want to hear why I woke you up?” “Yes, yes, of course” Death continued “So before I was so RUDELY interrupted. -t Ares (jerk) wanted to talk to you in the lobby” “Okay tell Mr. Jerk, I will be there in 5”
Death teleported away and God walked out into the hall and she felt like annoying Ares so she decided to walk instead of teleport down to the lobby. God enjoyed walking around Godly Apartments a home for Gods of all sorts and religions, no matter how bizarre. They did really let anyone in because they let in the giant flying spaghetti monster from pastafarian. That monster gets pasta sauce everywhere, the maids hate him but the chefs find him delicious. God lives in the penthouse. When she got down to the lounge where Ares was sitting on a leather couch, he instantly started talking. Ares is a buff guy and wears a helmet, in the greek myths where he comes from he doesn’t really wear clothes but because none of the other gods want to see that. He has been forced to wear clothes. He wears armor most of the time. God ignored most of Ares ignorant blib blab. Replacing the words he said with “I’m really obnoxious”, “I’m a royal jerk”, and even “I stole death’s girlfriend”. There was more but they are rated R and this is a PG-13 book. Ares said something about a human but God was not worried because humans are easily disposable. Ares finished talking and God strutted away a bit rudely.
God didn’t know what to do now so they made an executive decision to come bother Death. They teleported up to his apartment. God walked right into his apartment, she could do this because Death was dumb enough to give her a key. When God walked in she looked to the left and saw a stormtrooper pointing a gun at her. She shot (har har -God) her hands in the air. God remembered that Death was a big Sci-fi fan and the stormtrooper was something he had got on Godly Amazon. God heard some song playing in the next room. She went into the living room and she saw Death playing Guitar Hero (again -God). He was singing along with the song as well as playing it (I did awesome! -Death). Death didn’t notice that God was standing in the room. When Death finished the song he looked around at his imaginary fans and saw God clapping, a quite amused. Death very surprised said “Uhh? What are you doing here?” God replied “I was bored but this, this was entertaining.” Death sighed, used to God randomly coming to his apartment, and said “Wanna play mario kart 8?” “Of course”
* * *
They played Mario Kart 8 for a while but then God was called to some cool Godly Meeting with all the cool Gods even the giant flying spaghetti monster was invited, for some reason. Death had no idea why they had those meetings, nothing was ever really decided, but he really wanted to go to one. Well maybe one day he would get to go to one of those meetings if he did something really cool and epic like saving a human. Death started dusting his life size models of a stormtrooper and a dalek, even though he hated cleaning he had to keep those spiffy. Ares paged Death (ha ha Ares is not invited to the cool super meeting either! Wait am I on the same level as… ARES!? Jesus. “Yes? What is it.” Shhh just stop appearing, okay? -Death) “Death could you come down here I need to talk to you”.
Death teleported to outside Godly Apartments, Ares was there but he was not smiling, like he usually was, and his feet were tapping around almost like they were doing a little dance. There was something behind Ares. Ares was hiding something. The something peaked it’s head out. It was a human, a curly redheaded, scrawny, weak human. The human had no- was missing something. Death yelled at Ares “WHY IS THERE A HUMAN HERE?!” Ares replied weakly “I found it and I thought you were the best person to come to…” Death was still angry but still taking what he could get as a compliment “DANG RIGHT I AM THE BEST PERSON TO COME TO!”. The human peeked their head out and said “hi”. Death was sorta shy when it came to new people and surprised this human wasn’t scared of him replied “hi?”. The human came out of hiding behind Ares, the human was of young age must of been around five or six. The kid was definitely missing their- something. The kid ran over and hugged Death. Death shocked yelled “GET IT OFF!” Ares surprised said “We have to get ‘it’s’ s- something back before we can take it back down… I came to you because I thought you would know where to look… I guess” Death, who had calmed down a bit but the kid was still hugging him (it had a very strong grip -Death I still do!! And I am not a “it” -Human), said “you’re right about that… never thought I would say that to you… “. Death told Ares to go home and that he could deal with the thing attached to him.
Once Ares was gone, and the kid let go of him, Death crouched down to the kid and asked “What’s your name, kid?” the kid replied “Friz” Death couldn’t help but chuckle the name fit the kids hair perfectly. Death not wanting to giggle every time he called the kid, he asked “can I call you redhead?” The kid joyfully said yes, they really were innocent.
Death asked Friz to follow him. Ares was right that Death would have an idea where to look. Death thought it would be best to leave the worst place to last. He started to head to Life’s realm, he thought that Life might be able to help him find the kid’s missing… and maybe take care of the kid at her place. Friz asked “Where are we going Mr?” Death replied “We are going to a friend of mine’s house and feel free to call me…” Death realized that Death was a pretty scary name and that he needed a different name, he had to come up with a name on the spot. Friz asked “Call you what mister?” Death quickly said “Just uhh call me Azrael…” Death hadn’t used that name in a long time… it was the name of an Angel of Death, which he was technically . Death hated using that name, God always called him a goat if he used it for some reason, but it was the most human name he could come up with. Friz innocently asked “Azrael? That’s a cool name! Sounds so awesome!” Death laughed and said “Heh thanks! Kiddie” Friz confused said “Huh, I’m not a kitty!” Death chuckled and said “no not that type of kitty, I mean- nevermind” “what???” “Nothing, Kid”. Death chuckled and said “Come on! We need to get to my friend’s house!” Friz excited said “Okay! I’m coming! Don’t leave me behind!” Death laughed and said “I will if you don’t hurry up!” Friz ran up to Death, who was just speed walking, said “Not going to happen!”. This kid was one of the cutest things Death had ever seen The kid wasn’t scared of him and to add to that actually liked him, they even didn’t run from him, like most do.