Young and Clueless
Trapping someone inside an oil lamp for ten thousand years is just rude. I mean, seriously. I haven’t even burned for the last two hundred. Two whole centuries without any use. Does nobody go treasure hunting anymore? Wait. What’s this? Somebody has touched the lamp. Yes! Finally! Let’s hope this new master has better manners than the last one.
“Mortal!” I put on my best deity voice as I burst from the lamp in a cloud of purple smoke. I took on the form of a slightly-larger-than-normal Egyptian warrior, complete with traditional garb.“You have awakened me from a ten-thousand-year slumber. Your wishes are my command.” Wait. Where were they? I surveyed my new surroundings. It appeared to be the back room of a curiosity shop. Is that all I am to them now? An antique?
I suddenly felt a tug on my sandals. I looked down to see an infant staring playfully at the wisps of smoke I kept on for dramatic effect. My lamp, an ancient relic, fought over by massive armies in the desert, the most powerful object on Earth, was locked between the undeveloped jaws of this tiny human. Great. My home was a teething instrument. Ah, well. A master is a master, no matter the age.
“Well, kid, what’s it gonna be?” I dropped the act, taking on the form of a baboon in cargo shorts. I peered inside his mind, looking for his deepest desires. I was met with hand-drawn pictures of sheep in a field. Not just any sheep, though. These were no mere livestock. They had fleece of every color imaginable. It was as if the whole spectrum of visible light was calmly grazing.
“Oh, wow. Children really do have the best ideas. It is done.” I snapped my fingers and the small room expanded into a pasture full of multicolored sheep. Beautiful. And, as a bonus, humanity now had a room that was bigger on the inside. Good luck, physicists.
“What else is there in that small head of yours? Ah, yes. My second’s master’s first wish. It is done.” I snapped again and created an infinite bottle of milk in my oversized monkey hands. The baby giggled and I felt myself beginning to laugh as well.
“You know, out of all the dozens of masters I’ve had, I think you’re my favorite.” I looked inside his tiny mind and saw the one desire that every human secretly has.
“It is done” I snapped a third time, disappearing back into my lamp. In my place, I teleported his mother. She swayed a bit, disoriented from traveling so far. I’d had to pull her from nearly all the way across the country. When she got her bearings back, she gasped. It was a normal reaction to being stared at by the whole bleating rainbow.
“Oh, James,” So that was his name, “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are we? Where did these… sheep… come from?” James cooed in response, just happy to see his mommy again.
A spatial anomaly, an infinite food source, and some teleportation. This was actually one of my more casual outings. All in a millennium’s work, I suppose.