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The Pretty, The Ugly

By @Ezeilie

Living in doubt

I’m living on the edge

I’m falling forward trying

to find my landing

they watch and stare

as I fall faster with the laughter

scraping my knees,

I’ve always been the joke

the epitome of cruelty

I’ve only ever loved everyone

well tried to anyways,

there is no return when giving

the nonphysical, it was never

real enough to hold, to touch

and to feel, I guess I wasn’t enough

for a life time of love, I guess life ended

as soon as we did because I cannot

find my way back to realization

to happiness, to reality

I’m stuck here in a metamorphosis

who am I becoming, where am I going

where will you be, without me?

You are so lucky, to be free some

all these insecurities; they beckon me

and turn me into an epiphany.

There is no me left to wander,

there is no you left to ponder

there are no tears left to cry

because you left me long ago still

I try to figure out why, or how

this will end when I am pretending

it never had

everything you said and done

was too real to look back at myself

and see someone beautiful

I’m a turtle in its shell, slowly

making its way back around to

the waters where I lay sound

in my bed without my head

letting me live without the debt

of you. I owe myself big time

and your the reason why

you are the reason why

I cannot find that I am

fine.

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