Unspoken

My phones gives a light buzz

a gentle reminder

you still want to know me.

I tap out

messages, for your eyes only, but

It’s not like

anyone’d understand our shared frequency anyway.

**** it, friend

I didn’t give you permission to sneak

into my affections

and make a home for yourself

in the depths

of my fragile, fractured, fearful heart.

You stay there

and my chest begins to warm.

And I read

those messages, for my eyes only.

I can’t believe

I’ve fallen so utterly and so

wholly in love,

fallen in love because of you

fallen for you.

Does your heart

beat the same way mine does?

I like to

think that it does, that they

beat in sync.

You message me again, and I

smile despite myself

I swore I wouldn’t love again

I just don’t

want to hurt you. I’m scared

that I will

despite my best efforts, I always

hurt my partners.

So, my dear, I won’t tell

you my feelings

not yet, anyway. I’ll just watch

from the sidelines,

wish for God to grant me

some scrap of

courage, so I can say this:

I love you.