Every year I leave flowers here. I miss walking with her. The way we would talk about our days, letting things off our chest, and talking about our hopes and dreams. She was always there for me, I miss the way she made me smile, the way she brought me gifts.
I put my hand on the edge of the bridge, looking at the river below. These memories are as fresh as the morning sun. After school, we would hang out under the bridge. We smoked cigarettes and drank beer. We were stupid teens looking for trouble.
Now, I won’t see her ever again. It’s all my fault, and they’re going to find out sooner or later.
She was already hammered when I got to the river. Slurring her words, with vomit covering her shoes. She was stumbling and could barely stand up.
“How come you didn’t go to school?” I asked
She ignored me and sat on a rock looking out at the river.
“Vi- … you, you are the best you know that?” Jess asked, “You don’t judge me, you make me happy, I ca-”
Jess started to tip over. I grabbed her arm and laid her on the hill.
“You’re plastered you know?” I said concerned, fixing her hair
“Yeah, yeah I know. But who cares right?” she whispered as I laid her head on my lap, “Not my parents, that’s for sure,” she said, with a smile fading from her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked
“Nothing. Nothing at all,” she said tearing up.
“Please talk to me, Jess. We’re best friends,” I said holding her head next to my chest.
“That’s just it… I don’t want to be just friends anymore,” she said with her watery eyes.
“What are you talk-”
Jess sat up and leaned over for a kiss. I pushed her back making her roll down the hill into the river.
“I’m so sorry Viv I-,”
“Leave me alone! I’m not like you!” I screamed running home.
I cried every step home. I can’t believe what just happened. I keep walking back and forth thinking to my self, why? How did this happen? Laying on my bed I grabbed my bag and reached for my phone. Next to it was a note.
“I love you, Viv, do you love me too?”
“What did I do?” I whispered to myself, “What’s wrong with me?”
Rushing back to the bridge I saw red and blue light parked on the bridge. My legs were sown to the ground, my ears were deaf, and white snow was collected on my head. They zipped her up in a body bag and took her away.
I shouldn’t have left.
Running towards the police, I fell to my knees.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?! Why are they taking her away from me!?”
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to calm yourself. Is this young lady your friend?” holding me tight, “It was a hit and run. We found her dead. I’m so sorry,”
I can’t remember the rest of that night.
The next day when I walked into school, everyone was staring at me. They knew what I had done.