“Trying To Fight Thoughts”
By Anna Cannon
I don’t want to care what you think.
I really don’t.
But every time I do something that I’m unsure or
uncertain of, all I worry, all I can wonder,
Is what people will think of me.
And I hate that.
I want to be able to express myself,
do things that make “me” happy.
But how will that make me happy,
if I’m too scared of people judging me,
Judging my appearance, my personality,
my capabilities, my decisions,
My every move.
Everyday, for as long as I can remember
I’ve been fighting these dark thoughts.
And that is not ok.
And I want to be free from people’s thoughts.
I really do.
But the truth is… I’m scared.
Scared that people will not like me, will not want me.
And as much as I hate to admit it.
I can’t bare, I can’t live,
With the thought of people not liking me,
The thought of having no one that cares,
no one that appreciates or
Wants to be with me.
Because I don’t want to be alone.
I can’t be alone.