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She was there, just a second before, still as beautiful as the first day I got to meet her. The throbbing in my heart that so much longed for her relieved itself seeing those stern set eyes, glassed with her usual annoyance. It wasn’t seconds before the sharp loneliness cut itself into me when she pushed right past me, when she said she didn’t want me. Why doesn’t she remember me? Had she purposely washed away the history we made or did she truly forget who I was?
The wind howled a somber tune, a bit softer compared to the livid cries it let out earlier. The snow was dying down now, clouds relieving themselves of their positions forgivingly. The sun forged it’s way out, letting it’s warmth kiss my cheeks but this softness was so undeserving in this moment. When I realize the girl that I’ve come to love for so long hadn’t loved me back like she had years before. Why was it like that? Why did she forget me?
I was Time, I had no time! I was running away from myself, running away from my past. Every step I take is another step in Time, these pathetic mortal beings and their stupid fantasies. I had wanted to stop and punch a wall, break something, whether it be my arm or a vase or a window. Anything, I just needed anything to let myself loose!
“Darling!” he says, “Allow me!” he says. An ******* I didn’t need in my life. Who the hell did he think he was?! A crap load of nothing, a flesh bag with absolutely NOTHING!
I stumbled and fell face flat on the cold stone. I had wanted to cry, wanted to let out a blood curdling scream but I wasn’t to gain attention, I was Time. I was Time, I was Time, the same old mantra I’ve been humming to myself for the past ten minutes to get rid of that man in my mind. He’s nothing, I’m something. I’m Time, he’s human. I live on, he dies.
I stopped walking, I stopped it all, I don’t care anymore, I am Time. I had wanted to grieve in my sorrow. Everything they had done to me, everything that I had to let go, for what?! To be TIME?! Why didn’t I get to choose, why did they give me this ******* role! I was going insane, and nothing could take that away from my brain, nothing stopped, everything rolled.
“Help me!” I whispered but not even the gods would care about me, for I was Time. I cuddled myself, hugged myself in this blistering cold, the cold that I brought upon myself. No matter how many rays of sunshine rained upon me, no matter how warm it is, I’ll only ever feel C…O…L…D.
“Young miss, allow me to help you.” That voice again, that tormenting voice had come again in my head, singing a deadly lullaby.
“Miss, is everything alright?” My head snapped upwards and there he stood that devilishly looking boy, that I thought had left me alone.
“Does it look like it?” I had shouted back in my own misery but it only deepened when he didn’t flinch, when he didn’t care about the threat hidden deep within me. He chuckled a bit, he smiled a bit, and then looked away, for only a bit.
His eyes met mine, his grey eyes, the ones that could brew storms, the ones that could rage sickly disasters, were calm. They were soft, they weren’t cold, they weren’t deadly. I had wondered why.
“Is something amiss?” He had asked me and I thought, was it?
“Yes there is.” I had said, his eyes still never broke loose, but he had wanted to know.
“And what is it?”
“You.” I had said, I had wanted it to drill holes into him, create caverns into his pathetic heart, so he could let me go. Stop following me around in these cold weathers but he didn’t leave, he stood there still and unmoving.
“Oy! What you children doing out there in the cold! Get in here or you’ll die!” The door opened, creaking just a bit as a man had walked out still bundled deep into his coat.
“It takes more than death to get rid of me.” The boy had said, he slurred the word death in his mouth, almost playing with it like he had no care in the world.
“You fools get in here! I don’t want this on my conscience. Come in, it better in here than out there.”
“C’mon love, it’ll be fine.” His strong arms had gripped hold of me tight, as his warmth radiated onto my body, removing me of all types of chills. My struggling wasn’t even clear under his strength.
She had clawed my flesh and skin away, and I had wanted to let her go, but making her walk through the snow and ice was a burden to my heart. I had smiled at the man at the door, while pinning down my ache as I shoved her into the building.
“Now can someone explain why you two were out there in the snow?” How do I explain to a man that I was trying to get rid of a couple of lives in this weather? How do I explain to him that I was stalking a girl, whom isn’t normal? Well, there’s always a first for everything isn’t there?
“Well sir, I have come in search of you.”