I love how they think I’m going to tell them. I’ve been here for years. I’m almost 50 years old, and I’ve been here since I was 30. 20 years. I know the guards by name. I remember all 224 girls who have been in this cell, not counting the 6 in front of me. But, out of all of them, I’m the only one who chose and continues to choose, to stay. The outside world is much to difficult.
Out of all 230 girls who have been here, Violet is the only one who’s mark has vanished. There have been murderers, rapists, drug dealers, you name it, and none of them had accomplished what they were destined to do in life when they got here. She’s also one out of the three girls who have been innocent in the past 20 years, in this cell. Kait doesn’t need to be in here either. 25 and has never had a mental illness. Unless you count fear, grief, and anger as illnesses. If you’ve been in prison as long as I have, you hear a thing or two. Kait, Violet, and an eight year old named Caroline, are the only innocent people to have ever been in this cell. Caroline committed suicide after she was released when she was 15, because she had no one to care about her. Nowhere to go, and she didn’t know how society worked. She thought it was normal for innocent people to be thrown in jail. The wardens have to live with that guilt everyday. They did that to her. She didn’t even know how to read or form complete sentences. Think about how she ended up. Kait and Violet, they don’t need to turn out the same.
I can tell those girls more about them then they’ll ever find out on their own. Maybe they need to know. Maybe, it’s time to talk again. Maybe, it’s time to stop feeling numb. After all, feelings are good for you.