By doctor man
This was my first moment. It could have been like any other before. Sun was crossing the horizon and subtle shadows enveloped the city of New York. Gusts of wind were bringing much needed refreshment after long uneventful day of work in outreaching skyscrapers.
As I said pretty usual if not for the crowd gathered behind me pleading me to turn back as I stare down into the deep blue of the river below me, with my feet, step away from plunging 100 meters down to its cold saviors embrace.
What brought me here?
Hahahah, how much time do you have?
I’ve always wondered what was the meaning of life. Why was I born? Why did I have to wake up every day? Why do humans suffer? Was there something out there greater than me, that can give me meaning? This went on and on, without a single answer anywhere but every so often one question would give birth to another tormenting me even further.
I couldn’t take it any longer, being stuck in this sick cycle of life. Get educate, get a job, find a girl, marry her, have children, buy a home, retire and hopefully die sleeping. Cycle goes on and on whether you like it or not. That’s the scenario of human’s tragedy. In the past people at least could entertain themselves with stories of undiscovered world and its wonders. Now when the world has been conquered it is sharing our own destiny; slowly dying surrounded by denial and disbelief.
I could have lingered in my thoughts like this for eternity, but then our eyes have crossed across the vast the empty between us, sharing the same bridge and resolve. It hasn’t taken long, he looked right into my eyes while he was slowly loosening his grip on the rail. I felt his determination to be done with it, he was about to gain eternal solace worthy of the kings of old. There was overbearing pain and suffering beaming from his tired face. Yet his coral white teeth where brightly reflecting the moon light as he grinned at me.
My admiration was put on hold as the crowd behind me started, breaking into scream. It took me a while to realize that this reaction was dedicated to my fellow brother diving down; head first. I was absorbed by the beauty of this moment. His body falling down appeared like colorful bird flapping his wings as the unrelenting wind rived through his clothes. It was a fall to grace.
Spellbinding of this moment was shattered with a thundering explosion from collision of unstoppable object with unmovable body of water. The so not long ago breath taking bird have been engulfed in its disfigured shape by the crimson water of his own doing.
It struck me harder than anything ever could in the past or in the future. The unstoppable force of this man’s downfall has shaken and ripped open doors to my own salvation. The very ingredient to one’s happiness was right in front of me. For these few seconds falling down to his own demise this man was happy, it has costed him his life to realize it.
We all live for these small moments of happiness and freedom. Finding your first love, birth of your children, making something on your own. Yet we are so occupied with the bigger picture that we treat these moments as stepping stones towards discovering meaning of life and reaching eternal salvation. We slave away for money and status believing it brings us closer to our goals. However, when we realize that they are meaningless we are past all of the moments of our lives worth living for.
Hysterical laugh has overtaken me, to a point where I was struggling for air. Fading scream of horror have turn into gasps of disgust and aversion. I said my last goodbyes and thanks as I stepped back from the edge onto the concrete. Continuously laughing, I’ve met the eyesight of my so called saviors. Some of them confused, others still shocked. If only they chose to save my predecessor this could have been a happy story.
I was done with the cycle of life and its expectations. I was just granted the greatest moment of my new life and I decided to dedicate it to creating new ones no matter the cost.
No matter what it meant.