By: Zachariah Grubb
“I’ve been here before, the only thing that ever changes is how deep the fall is and the person on the other side.”
Standing at the edge of a large gap, between me and her. I look down at the hole before me as I tie a worn out piece of string around my heart.
“Why do I try?”
I asked myself. I look and see she’s a little closer this time, maybe I can make the throw and she’ll be able to catch it. If I miss, I can always pull it back and try again.
“I love you.”
I hear her say, I feel my heart beat in my hand. I look at the gap one last time before I make the throw… It misses her hands and falls into the gap. I hold on tight to the string, the weight of my heart almost causes me to fall in. I use all my power to pull it back up so I can try again.
“I’ll wait for you.”
She tells me.
“I promise you, I promise I’ll hold you tight and never let you go.”
I tell her as I pull my heart back up and get ready to throw it again, but before I do, I start to hear crying.
Could that be her?
“Please don’t cry.”
Her sadness and pain is so emotionally strong that I can feel it, even with this gap between us. My heart starts beating faster in my hands, I begin to cry.
She tells me, but I just can’t help it. I’m so emotional, I’m so weak, I’m so lost…
“I promise you I won’t give up on you.”
I tell her as I throw my heart across the gap once more. It was another failure… I pull my heart back up and get ready for another throw. This is painful but I won’t stop.
“You pinky promise you won’t give up on me?”
I hear her beautiful innocent voice from across the gap and I tear up.
“I promise you with all my heart and soul, till the day I die.”
I say as I throw my heart again… She reaches out and it finally makes it. I feel a warm comfort, a feeling like no other.
“Your heart, it’s small but heavy. I love it.”
She holds onto my heart like a pillow, cuddles it and keeps it by her side.
A couple days pass and we are both still standing at this gap between us. I can still feel her comfort, it puts a smile on my face.
“I wish I could hold you and kiss you.”
I hear her say from the other side, I pause and look down at my hands. She only has my heart, my emotions. She doesn’t have my hands, my lips and physical touch. We couldn’t truly love each other but we still said it.
“I love you.”
“I love you more. I will always, always, always love you more.”
Always, always, always. Those were our words, they showed how much we loved each other. Our love was strong even with this gap between us. I could wake up happy for the rest of my life knowing she has my heart and my love.
Distance and time wasn’t on my side
Time passed by. My love for her was still strong, but her love for me… Just wasn’t the same anymore. I don’t hear her voice as much, I don’t even know if she still has my heart in her hands. That comfort has disappeared, gone, vanished.
I look across the gap to see if she’s still standing there, she is. I can’t see if my heart is still in her arms, I could pull on the string but that’s too risky.
“I can’t do this anymore, this gap between us is tearing us apart. I do still love you. I just need you next to me, I need you to hold me and this gap won’t allow that.”
Her voice sours across and strikes me, I fall to the ground. I know what this means, it’s over. Here comes the part where she walks away, I just sit there and watch…
But she didn’t walk away, she’s still standing there, why? I’m confused, what’s going on over there?
“Please don’t walk away.”
I stand up and say as I back away from the gap between us. I can’t take this pain I’m putting her through, It’s too heavy. I love her way too much for this.
All I ever wanted was passion and acceptance from another person, someone to call mine. I will run towards her and hope my love gives me enough strength to make it over this gap. I know she’s waiting.
I get close enough to catch a glimpse of her beautiful green eyes… before I fall.
Her final words to me echo all through out the gap as I fall for her.
“I love you.”