By Ella Kovacs
A lost toy, that’s what you call the people that’s lost in this place we call earth. Normally you would call them broken people but I think “lost” is the better word to describe them because at the end of the day, we aren’t broken. At work today, i saw this lady who was just sitting all alone watching the birds fly and the fish in the river but not only did i see that, i noticed that she had her mask on, her gloves on and her tan coat on facing the water just appreciating the earth. I don’t know why but I saw myself in her for some reason. a stranger i never met or even talked to in my life. I can’t explain but her mask was a piece of cloth protecting her from diseases , my mask is an invisible shield protecting me from showing my true emotions because one day, they will upset somebody or better yet make me weaker then i already am. Her gloves are protecting her from the cold and again diseases, mines are protecting me from failure, meaning i delete what i can’t say and ignore like they weren’t there. Her coat keeps her warm, while I had a hoodie to cover my insecurities and my body in general. Her sitting alone was a choice she had and mine is too but maybe it’s better to be alone then with people you tell everything and it gets told to the whole world or secretly judged, or even better they leave in the middle of the conversation, they are there but not there mindly. I will say this only one time, I realized I’m broken today, it took me forever to realize or maybe I didn’t want to because i know what’s broken can be fixed. What if I don’t want to be fixed? Maybe i’m scared of how it feels to be happy like truly happy, no faking it. Maybe I’m scared of how I will be after words… will I be myself or will I be a brand new person? Or maybe im just scared to get fixed and i get torn back apart, i know that sounds so stupid but its the truth.
I wouldn’t call myself a lost toy to be honest, but i would call the others a lost toy because they have something to be fixed for and i do too but i’m not going to because it’s going to be a waste when all i ever do is get torn back apart.
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