Tell My Friends, Please?

Tell them I'm gone.

I took you to the rooftop of the highest building, high above the city, staring it down with withered eyes.

I took you up to the highest point of the city I will soon turn my back to.

I took you up to tell you of a passing thought in my mind. A small whisper, a question without an answer to satisfy my restless mind. ‘Should I leave this place, this world. Leave everything behind?’.

The look of agony on your face made my heart sink to it’s lowest point.

The look of grief held an impact no words could express, they spoke and told me,

‘Please, don’t leave. Promise me you won’t go.’

I was never one to make a promise I knew I couldn’t keep. Shaking my head no, your face drooped even farther but I couldn’t bring myself to utter a yes.

I was never one to lie, so I didn’t.

You questioned me more than I could take. Asking over and over again, Why do you want to die?

I wanted to scream, ‘I DON’T KNOW.’

I wanted to cry, ‘I DON’T WANT TO DIE, I JUST CAN’T BEAR TO LIVE.’

I wanted to whisper, ‘I don’t want to leave everything I hold so dear behind. I don’t want to hurt you. But tell me, is suffering really worth it?’

The sun began to set over the bustling city and before you could ask me more, I turned the other direction and left.

To where? Not even I know

But please,

Tell my friends, when I’m gone. I may not come back…But I will always be somewhere close.