Sweet as Candy: A Novel in Verse

Burdened

Too bad that when I get home

Izzy is already there

On the phone with Alex about the upcoming Fourth of July weekend

Which he has apparently gotten off of work

To come stay with Izzy and I.

Really, I’m surprised that Alex hasn’t decided to just cash out on his apartment by now

And move in with Izzy

Maybe proposing while he’s at it.

I mean, Izzy and Alex have all the credentials for optimal domestic bliss.

Both have secure, well-paying jobs

Are pushing thirty

And haven’t even bothered to look twice at anyone else

For the past three years.

Though I’d never tell Izzy

I often wonder if the reason behind these things has something to do with me.

Over the course of my twelve years in Izzy’s care

I know all too well just how draining being a foster parent can be.

No matter how much she tries to hide it from me

Forever assuring me that I never was and never will be a burden

It has been rather evident that foster parents have a lot more rules and regulations

Than those who have completely official gaurdianship of their children.

Most things are a bit topsy-turvy, if in subtle ways.

No matter how much you try to sugar coat it

Normal family things are just harder for foster families.

Clothes shopping is harder

Because we should be frugal with our checks.

Doctor’s visits are harder

Because we know all to well who will be held accountable should something happen to me

No matter whose fault it really is.

****, even school is harder

Because it has to be awkward to be the only person who is legally just a ‘gaurdian’

At a parent-teacher conference

Dozens of nosy soccer mom eyes probing Candace Noble’s pretend mother.

Whether or not she admits it

Taking care of one of the state’s children has undeniably changed Izzy’s life

In every sense of the term.

I wouldn’t be surprise whatsoever

If I was holding back her relationship with Alex.

I mean, it’s one thing for your significant other to already have children

But a child that isn’t even legally theirs

Has to be something else altogether.

No matter how big of a soft spot he has for me

I doubt Alex will jump the gun and drop to one knee

Until I move out.

Even then

I don’t think they’ll ever have kids of their own.

After all she’s seen biological parents do to their kids

Izzy might not even trust herself

With a child of her own flesh and blood.