Sweet as Candy: A Novel in Verse

Positive

A plus sign

Stares back at me.

Sure.

Certain.

Positive.

This isn’t a scene from my wishful thinking.

This is a real life nightmare.

I almost fall to the floor

But I settle on putting the toilet lid down instead

Seating myself there.

I lean back

Pulling my knees into me

As I stare at the evedential piece of plastic.

I let this happen.

I thought for sure that I’d never end up here.

I’d convinced myself that I was destined to correct my mother’s mistakes.

I was a child

Thinking that history absolutely should not, could not, would not

Repeat itself.

Yet, here I am

Just like her.

I let a single tear fall

Before wiping it from my cheek.

Decidedly

I stand up and wash my hands

Before wrapping the test in toilet paper

And marching to the kitchen.

I walk into the pantry and throw the toilet paper bundle into the trash.

With that

I tie up the bag

And take it outside

Leaving the symbol of my doom for the garbage man to take away tomorrow morning.

I go back inside and curl up on the couch

Pretending to watch Saved By the Bell reruns

As I let my mind go blank.

When Izzy gets home

I lie through my teeth

Telling her I feel much better.