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Sweet as Candy: A Novel in Verse

By @Madison


The people who came in to teach us about the general business of fooling around

Way back in middle school

Made one thing very clear.

While they laid down the basic facts

To ensure that we all wouldn’t be parents by the time we were freshmans

They sold us a sentiment, as well

Making the lesson a two for one deal of sorts.

As a gaggle of seventh grade girls sat in front of her with rapt attention

Their eyes filled with a mixture of horror and fascination

Acclaimed health teacher Mrs. Callahan desperately attempted to tell us that one of the dirtiest things we could think about, talk about, or, — gasp, — do

Was also a beautiful, utterly sacred act

All the while balancing a healthy mix of fear mongering.

“Now, I’m not trying to scare you girls,” she proclaimed.

“But make sure that you’re aware of the issue at hand.”

Maggie Hart’s hand shot up

Her long, Silly Band clad arm rising above the rest of the class.

Mrs. Callahan pointed her pen at her.

“Yes, Maggie?”

“What do you mean by being aware, Mrs. Callahan?”

She put her arm down against the desk.

“What do you want us to know?”

Mrs. Callahan sighed

Obviously becoming uncomfortable with the schtick she was getting paid a meager amount to deliver to us.

“I want you to know,” she lowered her voice.

“That when you lose your virginity, you are, to some extent, giving yourself away to someone else. That shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

But, oh, take it lightly we did

The entire classroom bursting into a fit of giggles

As Mrs. Callahan sighed loudly.

Honestly, what did she expect?

‘Giving yourself away?’

As if you only have an identity

As long as you’re celibate?

Sure, Mrs. C.

You are a gentlewoman and a scholar!

Of course, I’m not concerned.

Four years later

I know everything that everything Mrs. Callahan preached to us

Is bull.

I haven’t given Todd anything too important

And I certainly don’t belong to him

By any means.


How can I suddenly pass myself over to him

If I’ve never belonged to anyone else

In the first place?

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