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Avery’s youthful face looked over at the needle that was digging deep into her older boyfriends arm, he was doing this to feel something, well that’s what he told her, he said it helped with the cold and the numbness inside. Her bright green eyes meet his. He looked at her then at the needle then at her again.
He pulled a second one out of his pocket,
“You want it?” he asked, his face was so pale and his eyes seemed almost lifeless.
She looked at it, the needle was old and rusty but it was full, full of the stuff that she had heard makes everything better, she did want to feel again, she just knew deep down that it wasn’t what she was lead to believe it was.
Avery thought for a moment, she thought back on her life, the fourteen short years of it. Back before all this she had been happy, when she lived with her mum and dad.
Back when she was a toddler she had everything, they didn’t have much money but she had a mum and a dad and a house, what more could you really want.
When she first started school she was so bright, a golden student and in fairness her teachers gave her credit for it. She had talent too, started swimming and was the best in the club.
But it went down hill from there on.
Avery didn’t know it but benefits weren’t paying for her swimming lessons, drugs were. Her dad wanted to provide for the family and for so twisted reason thought dealing was the best way to do that. Her mum didn’t even know until she got the phone call, a deal heated up and so a knife came out and so seven year old Avery learn with death was without even being able to spell the word.
After that her mum tried hard to support her and Avery and was doing it with a legal job and all. They didn’t have a lot but they had just about enough. Avery had to give up swimming but she understood that it just wasn’t possible and didn’t complain about it.
When she was nine things seemed to be picking up, her mum had gotten a now job which paid a little bit more. She even had a new boyfriend who at the time seemed pretty nice and so they moved in together. That however was one of the biggest mistake of her mothers life.
Within a few months he began to show his true colours, when Avery or her mum didn’t do exactly as he said they got hit. Some kind of power thing in his head Avery had always thought, he wanted to make them feel weak and powerless around him, the sad thing was it worked on her mum.
He had her under some wicked spell convincing her that she was nothing with out him and when Avery began to find her voice, he stared turning her own mother against her.
When she was thirteen he was beating her up on a daily basic and then telling some twisted lies saying that Avery deserve every bruise and cut. She couldn’t take it anymore she told her mum that it was her own baby or her vile partner, she didn’t get the answer she should have.
After that she realized that she couldn’t go to school because someone would find out. She didn’t really know why she didn’t want anyone to find out, she know deep down that she deserved better but she was scared her mum would get in trouble if she asked them for help. So she stayed on the streets.
She was so vulnerable, fourteen sleeping on the streets surrounded by drunk men and drugs. When she meet her boyfriend who know how to survive out here, she held onto him. She just wanted someone to say “I love you” at night once more and would do anything to keep it like that.
So when he drank, she drank, when he stole, she stole, when he fought, she fought. She was trying to prove her worth to him so that he wouldn’t leave her alone.
So it was only nature that on this night when she was looking at the needle that he was holding up to her, to take it.
Avery took the needle, she might have been cold on the outside but on the inside she was colder. She just wanted to feel something again after all she had been through she was completely numb.
She know inside of her that drugs had gotten her into this mess so they certainly weren’t going to get her out of it,
but she just didn’t care anymore.
She just wanted to have something to live for and if that meant slowly dying that was what she was going to do.
She stabbed her arm and wait to feel something other than,