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By @blxnd_fxck


I’m sitting in the living room with Alex and Will, watching The Office. I check the time on my phone. “Hey guys, I’m going to go practice one of my dance routines.” I say, putting my phone in my pocket. “Ooh, can we watch?” Alex asks, as he sits up in excitement. I hesitate. “Please? We’ve never seen you dance before!” my cousin pleads. “Fine, but you have to be quiet.” I reply. They all cheer. “Just give me some time to set up and get ready.” I add, getting up. “Of course, hummingbird.” my cousin replies.

I stare at myself in the mirror. My ribs are slightly sticking through my skin. “Still not thin enough…” I whisper to myself. I leave my room and head to Will’s at-home studio. He’s a musician. I set up the dance pole, camera on its stand, speakers and connect my phone. “Guys, I’m ready!” I call.

Less than a minute later, they both walk in. I smile at them politely. “Right guys, I’ll get into position. Remember to be quiet so I can focus.” I speak. They both reply with a chorus of okay and head nods. I get into position on the pole.

After three minutes and eighteen seconds of dancing, I walk over to my speaker and turn it off. The song that I chose repeats itself, as plays aloud on my phone. I turn off the song. I look over at Will and Alex, who are in shock. “Since when could you dance like that, Novi?” Alex asks. “Yeah, you never told us you were that good!” Will adds. “It’s just a hobby I took up after school one day…” I say modestly. My head starts to spin. ‘Not here, not now…’ I think to myself. “So that’s where you were going after school on a Wednesday!” Alex replies, laughing. I support myself against the pole.

“Are you okay though? You seem a little disorientated…” Will asks, catching on. Alex’s look of bewilderment turns into one of concern. “Yeah, I’m fine. Probably just spun around too many times.” I answer, playing it off as nothing. They seem to buy it. “Hey guys, let’s go eat!” Alex says enthusiastically. They all begin to leave. 

“Hey Novi, aren’t you coming?” my cousin asks. “Nah, I’m not hungry.” I lie. He looks at me with a worried look. “Are you sure?” he asks. “Yeah, I’m fine. I have to take down my set-up anyways.” “Please? I haven’t-” “I said I’m fine!” I interrupt. We stand there in awkward silence. “Alright.” he says, with a concerned smile. “Just, eat soon, yeah?” he asks. I nod, as he leaves, closing the door behind him. I stand there, staring at the door. “I’m sorry, William. I can’t let you know about this, no one can…” I whisper, before taking down my set up.

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