Sometimes I wonder if it’d be better if I was gone.
Eradicated off the face of the Earth. Not to be heard from again.
Take a bath with a toaster.
Go on a dinner date with a hungry lion.
Skydive without a parachute.
Take a nighttime walk through Detroit.
Have a cup of bleach.
Go swimming in a nuclear cooling pool.
Sink into a vat of concrete.
Jump off a diving board into an empty pool.
Listen to Soundcloud rappers on repeat.
Dance with a death row inmate.
Play the BirdBox challenge on the roof of the Empire State Building.
Ride a hippopotamus.
Shower with hydrochloric acid.
Put out a house fire with gasoline.
Or maybe I should just chug the medicine in my cabinet. That’d be easier.
Nobody would miss me, nobody would…
My thoughts are interrupted by my dog walking into the room. Her tongue sticks out of her mouth, which is pulled into a big smile. She leaps into my lap and curls up into a pile of fat and fur, letting out a sigh of contentment as she closes her eyes and goes to sleep.
She’ll miss me. She won’t have anybody to play with. She won’t have anybody to kiss her on her soft forehead. She won’t have a lap to sit in.
Maybe I’ll stay.