I was the only person on the bridge when the distress call arrived….
I did not want to pick up the phone.
I knew exactly what would happen if I pick up.
The annoying sound of the phone was making me sick.
I look at the black water under the bridge. Almost calling me to take a quick bath.
The phone stops.
It was dark and I was cold, and I shouldn’t be here.
I should be on my house, drinking hot cocoa and making a mess with the whipped cream.
Playing with the dog of my parents and watching movies.
The phone started his annoying sound one more time.
I pick up.
“Hello?” I said, my voice was thin.
“Where are you?” The voice of my sister sounded annoyed.
“At the edge of a bridge”
“Funny” she snorts “someone is here for you”
“Stop the drama for a second” I heard on the background a couple of noises and then a breeze, she was outside now “where are you? I’ll go for you”
“On the edge of a bridge” I repeat
I almost see her rolling her eyes.
“Alice please” She sigh tired of my dark sense of humor “what is going on, I thought that you wanted this”
“I… don’t know” I wanted to cry I was felling terrible.
“Did he… “
“No” I said fast “he is great”
“Then what is the problem?”
That was exactly the problem.
He was so perfect. So warm. So soft. Hugging her when she needs it, telling the words that she wanted to hear. Buying a lot of presents for her without a reason.
Her family loved him.
Everyone loved him.
And she was just, a horrible person. For thinking the opposite.
“Is my fault” my voice was cracking.
“Hey, Ali, is okay. All the couples fight, that’s normal”
I didn’t say a word. I felt so guilty.
“Is my fault” I repeated.
“Okay enough, give me your location right now”
But I was crying, my hands where shaking.
I didn’t want her to see me like this.
I didn’t want to see anyone.
Because it was my fault.
He loved me and I just didn’t appreciate him.
It was my fault.
I looked at the black water one more, I was hearing the whisper of the sirens.
The sirens were cruel, they whisper…
“why are you running?”.
“It was your fault”.
“you know that he is not a bad person”.
“You started it”.
“He loves you”.
The lights of a car make me look away from the water and the dangerous thoughts.
My sister came out of her truck, it was snowing I didn’t notice.
“Oh my god, you’re freezing!” she took her jacket and walk in my way.
And then she freezes.
And I cried covering the giant bruise on my face.
“It was my fault” I whispered.