The shock sets in
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It all started on a Wednesday; on the 12th of April 2:34 to be precise. It may seem odd that my memory is so clear, but that was the one day that I got to my Wednesday English class on time. Due to the lack of numbness in my legs caused by forced physical education. Getting hit in the face with a tennis ball before the game even begins is definitely under-appreciated.
One minute early to class and yet I was the only one there. Except from Mila, the girl who always had her head in a book and everyone called a nerd. That is minus me of course. Honestly, I actually got better grades than her. But my nerdiness is just slightly less conspicuous.
I do try my hardest not to stick out, despite my wacky ways. Although blending in had been made a terrible challenge; due to my clumsiness. Plus I’m about as lucky as a leprechaun in reverse. Trust me, those two do not mesh well. And I have a body covered in cuts, bruises and broken bones to back it up.
That’s why when I tripped over Mila’s desk, sent it crashing to the floor and toppled over, it seemed like just another day to me. I just thanked my lucky stars that the only person in the room was one that had been too tortured by cruel teenagers to allow them self to pass judgement onto others. Maybe it’s just because she’s a genuinely decent person – but who really knows?
With my head tilted to the side, eyes squinted shut and arms held out in front of me, instinctively, for a short moment I was still awaiting the impact. Slower than I’m proud to admit, I began to realise I was still – no impact.
For a second I was afraid to look ahead. Did I fall so hard that my body had turned numb from shock? A strange conclusion I’ll admit, but panic always did strip away my logic. My eyes widened as I noticed not more than three or four inches between me and the ground. With that, I hit the floor in an instant. This made the fall far more of a jolt to my system than I was used to.
My paralysing stun which left me lying face down in the middle of a classroom was ripped away as I recalled a fellow human being in view of me. Luckily, Mila seemed far more interested with the book she had in her hand than the mess I had put myself in.
Overloaded with panic, I stumbled to my feet, threw her desk back into place and scurried to a seat at the back, just as the students flooded in.
An uncountable amount of thoughts were attacking my mind at once. Each one making my heart beat faster and the palpitations thump harsher against my chest.
Of course, the first thing I convinced myself of, was what anyone else would – that I was crazy. I mean it’s the only plausible explanation.
But a part of me knew. Even if I was blocking it out. I knew that I had defied the laws of gravity, even if only for a brief moment. The one time my mind jumps to a reasonable conclusion and sticks with it, is of course the one time it was actually the completely unexplainable one.
The rest of the day I was in a haze, internally debating out what could have happened to me. After several hours of pondering, there seemed only one answer. Thankfully it wasn’t the very prominent “you were simply sucked into a worm hole and spat out which delayed your perception of time”.
My mind went numb and my body stiff, standing spookily still in the middle of the hallway as it dawned on me with crowds of people rushing past to get home. I was either losing my mind or the impossible has happened. The question:” which is more realistic?” relentlessly played over and over again in my head. It may seem like an overdue realisation but when something as significant as this happens and it finally hits you that you really must be medically insane, it’s more like a bulldozer than a hammer.
Deciding that I had no choice but to compel my thoughts to enter the furthest reaches of my subconscious, I pursued the art of repression. I can safely say I have absolutely zero expertise in that area.
In my hopeful state, I planned to engorge myself on junk food, relax with a light hearted movie and be snuggled up, ready to be a peaceful prisoner of the sand man by nine. Surely I should have foreseen that the alternative for ME was: no appetite, no concentration, no sleep and overall absolutely no peace whatsoever. It wasn’t until quarter past four in the morning that my mind gave into my exhausted body and allowed me to drift off to sleep. All my tension and stress washed away… For about 5 minutes. Until my eyes shot open to find myself hovering over my bed. Again, I collapse immediately, face down. At least it removed any doubt from my mind about it actually happening. It’s always been so tiring creating an upside to everything.
Though rather than ease my mind as you would think, it just gave me more questions. What could possibly be happening to me? Unquestionably my worm hole theory couldn’t stand up as the answer. So what was the answer? Was I missing something?
I think one of the things that scared me the most was that I couldn’t tell a soul. I mean what kind of person wouldn’t have declared me insane right there on the spot? It took me the better part of the day convincing myself it actually happened.
It would have been so much easier if my life was a movie because everything is always so normal to them. You never see anyone on TV having sleepless nights over supernatural events. They just go with the flow. I wished I was more like that. Able to treat something like that as an everyday occurrence. I sure hope I was right to think that’s not a reasonable reaction from any normal person. Though I’m afraid to say I am undoubtedly not normal – but I never really was anyway.
I awoke at ten to nine having had three hours sleep. After five minutes of waking up, I glanced down at my watch. Noticing the time, I flung myself out of bed, threw on the first clothes I found and rushed out the door; still ending up an hour late.
Of course it’s me so the second I walked in the door vice principle Herman struts past, along with his infamous aura of condescension. I despised the walk of shame to the principal’s office. Most people don’t give a **** but apart from my history with tardiness, I was actually a bit of a goody-two-shoes. So I wasn’t really used to, nor in any way at ease during confrontation with authority figures. Although that day it actually wasn’t nearly as bad as expected.
Nervously, I kept my head to the ground the whole way. I must sound pretty pathetic but hey, there are a million worse qualities than being a bit timid. The receptionist Ronda shot me the same disgusted glare she did to every student that crosses her path, turning the butterflies infesting my stomach into a nest of hornets. As I approached the door to Principal Molden’s cramped waiting lobby I slowed right down, stopping inches from the handle. After short hesitation, I took a deep breath and swung the door open confidently. Expecting a quiet empty room I could collect my thoughts and think up excuses calmly, my confidence and feeling in my legs shortly disappeared when I made eye contact with an incredibly attractive guy about the same age as me; giving me a confused look. As I stood there looking like a complete imbecile, he sat back, crossed his arms and gave me a cheeky smirk. “Did I startle you?” He remarked as amusement took over his face.
There was a moment of silence as I was both stunned and at the same time, still taking in the three fold perfection of his scruffy jet black hair, luminous crystal blue eyes and his intoxicating smile that along with the sense of enthralling tenderness that emanates from him was almost mesmerising enough to distract me from my current predicament. Almost.
“Oh, I uh… just didn’t know anyone else was in here.” Still as stiff as a dead man, I mumbled as if my jaw was frozen shut.
“Well, the shock must have set in by now. You gonna sit?”
I found it fairly awkward that I had to sit next to him. Lack of space equals lack of chairs. “I haven’t seen you around before,” I said to break the tension as I sat down with not more than a foot between us.
“I’ve only been going here an hour.”
“That’s why then.” I shrugged awkwardly.
You can see I wasn’t exactly the most profound conversationalist. Glaring at the wall opposite me with an intense concentration, I could feel him eyeing me up and down. This is the point where hindsight kicks my past self for not taking a few minutes more to pick out a better outfit. The tension became too much for me and I just blurted out what could probably make it into the world records for weirdest conversation starters: “So, necrophilia, pretty weird stuff huh?” The second the words came out of my mouth, my head fell straight into my hands. “Next time, just learn to live with a little tension,” my inner voice grunted. “And you seriously need to stop watching those strange documentaries before bed.” I kept my face covered until I felt a cool, gentle grip around my wrist. He continued to pry my hand from my face softly whilst replying “You can’t expect to always be perfect.” “Plus… necrophilia? Not actually a dull topic.” Then he wrapped it all up with that boyish smirk that makes me melt. At that point, the principle strode out from his office, murdering the moment in cold blood and spat out my name impatiently. Instead of putting my tail between my legs, my head down and cowering into his office, I gave Mr Perfect here a beaming grin and swiftly strolled in with my head held high. I know for most people that’s nothing but for me it was definitely a first.
Without any eye contact I glided past Principle Malden and perched on the edge of the chair opposite his. No words were exchanged for the first few moments. He just sat there glaring at me, clasping his hands in front of him on the desk; attempting to intimidate me as per usual. Examining my face it dawned on him that I was different that day. He could see a hint of something in me that you usually couldn’t detect with a microscope… confidence. You see I never really conversed with guys that much at all because I would get nervous talking to people. And then when they spoke to me I wasn’t very responsive and I would blurt out something super random. So when Mr perfect not only didn’t pull a sour face and leave but actually said “Don’t worry, you’re cute” with his eyes, how could it not have given me a little boost? As I strolled out with a warning, Mr perfect caught up to me in the hallway. “Hey, wait a sec; I didn’t catch your name.”
“Lila.” I stared straight at him, blankly, awaiting his reply. “Do I get yours or do I have to just keep calling you Mr Perfect in my head?”
I still can’t believe I actually said that! Curse my loose lips.
“Mr perfect huh? I like it. I think I’ll just stick with that.” This time along with the smirk he added a playful wink. As he began to walk away, he turned halfway around and added, “Lila suits you; a beautiful name for a quirky girl.”
The warm buzz that formed inside my chest didn’t leave me for the entire day. In fact, my mind was so preoccupied that when I opened my locker and reached for my book, I almost grabbed it, threw it under my arm and skipped along not realising that in my daze it somehow levitated into my grasp.
It was beginning to get spooky. And I was beginning to get freaked out. Abruptly slamming my locker door shut, dropping the book on the floor and speeding away from it, I noticed from the corner of my eye Mr perfect staring intently at me, leaning against the wall of lockers opposite mine. Gradually I came to a halt and jilted my head back with curiosity to see him still eying me with an intrigued look on his face. Nonchalantly, I moved my gaze to forward and continued my swift walk to nowhere.
No matter what the hell was happening to me, these random unnatural phenomena’s couldn’t keep occurring at school or eventually someone was going to see something.
This was when I decided it was time for an attempt at focusing the ability; whatever it was. After rushing home from school, I locked myself in my bedroom and aimed all my energy at a pencil I was struggling to levitate. Despite my best efforts, I was getting nowhere until there was an abrupt crash. Ducking down on instinct, I found a layer of pencils; exact copies of the one I was trying to lift, across my floor. Plus a couple that managed to become entangled in my hair. At least I was learning to control it, just not in the way I had expected; at all.
After about another three hours of freak winds, flying cupcakes and grazing goats, the levitating was beginning to feel more and more natural to me. At one point, I focused enough to peel off the stickers that I regretted decorating my ceiling with since I was seven.
Every day of my life I wondered why I never seemed to fit in. Finally I had answers to questions I thought I had no one to ask. Even with the lack of people to care about in my life, you never feel as lonely as when you have a secret that you’re dying to share. If I’d had one person in the world I could’ve confided in; it would have been Sammy.
It’s not like I could have even contemplated telling my parents. I wouldn’t have been able to finish my first sentence before they would be making arrangements to get me carted off to the loony bin. That’s if they even listened. At least then I knew if the worst came to worst; I wouldn’t have to duck and roll out of the car, I could duck and float. I doubt I had any worries about my parents finding out; I could’ve probably grown a beak without them noticing. Sometimes I wondered why they didn’t just abort me. Or at least have put us both out of our misery and given me up for adoption. Why are people like that even allowed to have children when they mean nothing to them? I mean I’m sure they would have shown up to my funeral but would they have shed a tear at the loss of their only daughter? I highly doubt it. Maybe a forced emotional moment to keep up appearances but no genuine anguish would be felt.
Ugh, it sickens me to think so much thought was wasted on people who didn’t acknowledge my existence for more than twenty seconds each day. Every time I started thinking about something upsetting, it always came back to them. Did I not have enough on my plate to deal with? Focusing on my new-found abilities seemed much more logical. As I diverted my concentration back towards the only interesting thing that has ever happened to me; excitement began festering as if it were Christmas eve, with the anticipation of letting Sammy in on the most recent extraordinary occurrence in my normally mundane life.