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We cry when we are hurt
and we cry when we are happy
Is that not proof enough that pain and pleasure are interconnected?
Woven and intertwined like the push and pull of the sea
you cannot have one
without the other
and trust me,
you don’t want neither.
I’ve felt the undercurrent of numbness drag me down
I thought that I wanted it but I’m sure now
that I’d rather suffer for years than feel nothing for one moment.
To live and feel nothing,
might as well be death.
The void may be safe but it is no protection.
The abyss may be tempting but it is not freedom.
Freedom is the rush
of air from your lungs when your heart is broken
and the burning
desire when you hold someone in your arms again.
That sunrise after what felt like years of darkness.
In our pursuit of happiness,
we forget that to be happy, is not the same as to be without hurt
when everything is crashing down, the walls are caving in, all hope is lost…
nothing compares to the joy when we overcome
when we shine and refuse to drown.
To pursue happiness
we must fall again, and again, and again
we hurt again and again and again
and it feels endless
but we must believe
that it’s worth it.
Feeling nothing isn’t worth it.
It’s worthless. Meaningless. Emptiness.
You think it shelters you,
but then you remember what it was like to feel warmth on your skin
instead of watching others in the sun
because you’re afraid of the storm.
I like to dance in storms.
To smile through tears.
Not because I’m pretending to be happy
but because feeling this
means that I can be happy.
As long as I feel this,
there’s still a chance.
That’s why I think pain is beautiful.
earthquakes under our skin,
waterfalls from our eyes
so much life
so much potential
so much connection and meaning.
Happiness is not a destination,
it’s a journey.
And maybe the sun will never rise
but if you shield your eyes
if you block your vision
if you give up hope
it could rise again and again
and you’d never get to feel it
you’d never get to enjoy it.
After all, if the sun never rises again
you’ll be dead.
Regardless of whether or not you killed your spirit.
You deserve to feel warmth again.
Don’t dive off the edge just to prevent something from pushing you.
Don’t pull the trigger just so that they don’t have to.
Don’t go down without a fight.