Painting

By @Krystal_Daniles

Painting

By @Krystal_Daniles

Just a short story

Chapter 1

1

It took him awhile to stop staring. I could tell he was taking in every detail of the piece. The curve of the bridge, the light dusting of black and grey on the clouds over head. I stared at him as he stared at her discoloured wave of her short shaded hair, the way he elegantly moved to the next painting over. Why was he studying my work so hard? It wasn’t all that great. Simple places I’ve been or dreamed of, some canvases are layered with colour, most just black and white. Simple, I do simple work. But the thing that confused me the most was he was looking at the simplest pieces like their complicated.

He was watching the painting as if I was painting it before his eyes. He followed every stroke, every detail. But why? A women about double my age comes up behind him and whispers something into his ear. Now what? He simply nods and she leaves, dismissing herself from the scene. I decided then to take the plunge and walk over to him. My stiletto heels echo through out the hall as if to warn him of my upcoming presence before I got to his side.

I stand beside him and look over my own piece. “The amount of emotion in this piece speaks loudly, no?” Why would he say that? It’s a simple black and white painting of a girl I saw in London while I was on Vacation just a couple years ago. Her back to the viewer as she looks down at the water, so close to the edge but not far enough to fall. I look at him puzzled. “What do you mean?” He straightened himself out and gently glides over the painting, carful not to touch the glass. “She chose to capture a moment in time many wouldn’t focus on. Yet she focused on every detail. It’s also in black and white which gives it drama and depth. Everything on this canvas screams emotion, yet most can’t hear the screams unless they listen closely.” Nut job, a total nut job. God I hate it when people over analyze my work.

 Or maybe the artist just wanted to paint in black and white. Maybe they just chose a random time and a random place and decided that moment was good enough to be put in history, paused in time.” He smiles at me. “That takes emotion and time.” I nodded and followed his eye to all the delicate lines and details. I understood what he was talking about, it was hard for me not to but why was he digging into everything? I glance up at the man “You interested in buying the painting?” He followed the lines “I might be, if your willing to make me a deal?” I knew there was a puzzled look on my face and I quickly did my best to hide it. Three months worth of rent was due and it needed to be paid and I could also use some real food instead of canned peaches and stale bread. “What kind of deal we talking here?” He shrugged and gave me a business card with only seven digets. “Call me and we’ll talk.”

He smiled before walking out of the gallery.

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  1. don

    I want to first say that I really enjoyed this piece, I felt it was very well written and flowed very nicely. I have a few points to touch on:
    – You imagery right in the beginning as your MC watches the spectator are great, very flushed out and detailed
    – The spectators perception and sense of intrigue pertaining to the paintings makes me wonder what he’s thinking or picturing about these paintings. (just a suggestion: maybe prolong their conversation a little, to get a bit more inside his thoughts about how he felt.
    – Everything was great, almost flawless… up until the end. The ending felt a bit rushed and unsatisfying. Throughout the entire thing, you build this great tension throughout the piece and it seems to be leading up to this… satisfying “period” to the story, but instead its like you gave up, just deadpanned the who idea last minute. It felt, as a reader, making a sandwich after not eating all day and right as you’re about to eat it, it disappears. Judging from the rest of the piece I know this ending could be so much more.
    – Also it was very well written, just think I should mention that again.

    Really enjoyed !

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    1. Krystal_Daniles

      Thank you for your suggestions, I’ll see what I can do to improve!

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