Just Got Out And I'm Doing Just Fine
Since I died, I had never given much thought to the idea of love. I didn’t think I would get the chance to live again, to feel anything along with pain. Ever since being ****** to an eternity of Hell, I didn’t think eternity would be so short…until I met her.
I awoke to the caw of my alarm. “shut the hell up” I groaned, reaching for its off switch. I twisted out of my bed, tiptoeing around the various items on my floor; clothing, shoes, etc. I picked my phone from its charging station, as I like to call it. I turned it on to see a bunch of texts and snaps from Snapchat. You are mistaken if you think these are all from the same person. I put my phone in the pocket of my pyjama shorts. I’ll deal with you later. I proceeded to get myself ready for the first day back at School. It’s my second-last year before I go off to university, that is if I can keep the will to live to make it to even applying.
In the kitchen, sitting at the table, sits my dad and my half-sister, Violet. Both our moms ran out on my dad after having us. Boy, he sure can pick them. Dad has always been young looking, even for a 46-year-old, he doesn’t look a day over 35. I got my boring brown eyes and hair from him. My sister has dyed blue hair, but she’s a natural blonde. Guess she wasn’t having enough fun. Neither was her mother. “Morning, Mads.” Dad says without looking up from his book. “Hey. Could you pick up my car on Sunday? The guy at the garage kind of scares me.” I ask as I pour myself some granola. I hate the stuff but it’s all dad buys these days; he’s trying to be healthy, ew. “Yeah, sure, if it means I don’t have to haul your ass to school.” He’s mocking my dialect. My eyes roll and then they stop at my little sister, who’s plugged into some Beats headphones that I owned not too long ago. “You’re wearing my jeans. I was looking for those!” I shouted into her ear that’s now exposed to the air. Might do them some good I don’t think they’ve breathed in days. “**** off, Madeline. We both know you gained a little weight over the summer, bet you couldn’t fit into them now.” She gives me the ***** smirk she’s oh so famous for and turns her music up louder and peers back at her phone, emotionlessly. God, I hope I wasn’t this bad at 14.
As I sat in the car, I took in the scenery that the countryside had to offer. I took as much in as I could before we actually got to Deer River, the nearest town to our home. I live in Michigan, a few hours from Chicago. Dad isn’t from Michigan, he has a broad Scottish accent that I admire. He met my mom in Edinburgh, Scotland’s capital and they fell in love and moved here. My accent a typical one; it varies sometimes. I step out of dad’s fancy business car and I scout the area for Harvey, my enemy turned best-friend. The story goes that I had the biggest crush on him in middle-school and when he rejected me I held the worst grudge against him. I relentlessly bullied him— wait no, other way around. Turns out, Harvey, macho man, is a raging homosexual and from that moment on, I vowed to keep his secret, until he was comfortable with himself to show everyone his rainbow suit that’s been hanging in his closet since middle-school. Now we’re best friends. It’s quite odd it turned out that way because he’s the reason I have no other pals. I think he secretly feels bad for me and guilty that I’m the most disliked girl in all of Deer River High School.
Through the crowd waiting outside the school I see his 6 ft. muscly build, his red hair poking out of his school beanie, he’s wearing his letterman jacket. Try hard. He turns to face me, it takes him a few seconds to meet my eyes. His face lights up and makes his way towards me. “Hi, stranger!” He says in a mocking femme voice. “Sorry I didn’t call much. Been busy.” I reply, forcing a smile. I’m not lying, I have been busy. I stayed at my Aunt Isobel’s Inn in Scotland. She’s my mother’s sister and she’s all I really have to even consider a ************. If Harvey found out I was in Scotland he would flip out and ask why he wasn’t invited. It’s Isobel’s and my place. “It’s fine, I’ve been busy too, I was training. I really need to get on the team this year.” He says while flexing his arms, showing of his well-defined arm. I give him a laugh and we make our way inside for 1st period.
I enter my first class in Psychology; the classroom is pretty full and I look to find a seat next to my next victim. To my surprise I find an empty desk and take a seat quite contently. The class settles as Mr Nutini makes his presence known. Following him is a new face. My school is pretty small so a new guy will be the talk of the town, no doubt. The boy looked a lot older than a lot of the guys at the school; he was lean and had grown out black curls that complimented his olive complexion, much like mine. His eyes, however, contrasted mine in shades of blue. I don’t think I have ever seen such blue eyes in my life. I stared into them as they looked to mine. My heart jumped a little bit and I found myself staring to the ground in embarrassment.
“Take a seat, Mr Black.” Mr Nutini had never sounded so, well, polite. The whole class was in shock. He made his way toward me and without asking he sat at the desk next to me. He didn’t acknowledge me at all. I felt almost invisible, like I didn’t matter so long if he wasn’t dedicating every ounce of his attention on me. I didn’t like this feeling, not one bit. I felt threatened. I couldn’t even say hello to him without feeling like I would anger him; he seemed like the angry type. “Okay class, welcome to AP Psychology. I hope you’re ready to get your mind blown because, well I would like to get mine literally blown out teaching this same class every ****** year.” Mr N. turned his back to the class as he brought up the course review on the board. After 20 agonizing minutes of this we finally got to do something to do with psychology. “Because I’m lazy, let’s all get into pairs, yes? I want you to read your partner by just getting to know them.” Mr N. returned to his desk and began paperwork.
“It seems that we’re together then?” The boy turns to me, the corner of his mouth curling up, forming into a boyish smile. “I guess. I’m Madeline, Madeline Mcmillan.” I give him a polite smile. “Than Black.” He looks into my eyes. I feel violated. After a few passing seconds I blurt out “what?” “You’re shy, easily embarrassed, wound up. However, you seem like you have a sharp tongue. I look forward to getting to know it.” He smiles that smile again. I was mortified. “You’re disgusting. You think you can get away with talking to people the way that you want.” My cheeks turn a crimson red and my browns dig into my eyelids. “Oh, but I can.” He was dead serious. I turned to the front of the room in frustration, sinking into my seat. This is going to be a long year.
“I’m not going back there, Harvey.” I say, sprawled out on his ****** Ikea bed. “Aw come on, everyone has seen him, Mads. You should feel lucky to have the hottest guy to every set foot in Deer River – no Michigan sitting next to you.” Harvey is on his laptop which is placed on his desk. “He’s a total ass! He is obviously used to girls bending to his power. I will not be one of those girls who changes their whole personality to please a self-centred boy.” I gasped for air, feeling tension in my throat. “Harsh.” He sniggers as he turns to face me. “I signed you up to serve drinks at my first game.” He winked. “You got on the team!” At first, I felt happy, then it hit me. “Wait. What?” I sat up, my face turned from surprise to shock. “I am not serving drinks–” I was cut off. “Aw come on, Madeline, you wouldn’t come if you didn’t have to.” He’s right. “Plus, you might meet new friends, or even someone special.” He winked again. “You are a horrible friend. You’re supposed to shield me from potential competition” I collapse back onto the bed. “I’m not a psychopath.” He laughed.
Harvey dropped me off at home at around 10pm. I get inside and get to the stairs when the TV turns on. I jump to see my dad peering at me from the leather couch. “He pops.” I say half smiling, looking for some humour in his face. “That boy needs to learn to respect me.” He says while he scrolls through the channels, he stops on an episode of ‘Deadliest Catch’. I roll my eyes “Dad, I’m not dating him. Get a grip.” He turns to me, now with the lines around his eyes creasing. “Excuse me? Get tae your bed young lady. I deserve respect in my own hoose” I turn and head upstairs. Asshole.
The Next day I had Psychology 4th period. I didn’t want to go, I enjoy everything at school apart from this. When the time came I dragged myself to Mr. Nutini’s class. To no surprise, he was there, the same desk. I sat down with frustration. “What’s up, Brown Eyes.” He turns to me, the corner of his mouth turned up. “Didn’t think we were on nickname basis. It’s Madeline.” Before he could answer, Nutini walks in. The lesson was interesting enough but I couldn’t ditch this uneasy feeling, I knew it was because he was there. As I was packing my bag with my folder he turns to me “What are you doing tonight?” My stomach kind of fluttered, but it was edging more on uneasiness than butterflies. “Why?” I ask. “I want to take you out” He sounded casual. “I’m busy” I reply. “Doing what?” His reply was quick but mine was quicker. “I’m going to the game tonight” Instant regret. He smiled like a creep “See you there.” Seconds later, I was the only one in the class.