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My world was lit on fire

By @Gigi_grace221

A bit about moi

She’s  ugly

He’s  cute 

She never laughed  

He’s always smiling  

She couldn’t even dress well

His style is good 

Her eyes are plain

His eyes tell a story 

Im only saying this to forget about her

When in truth I miss her 

I still love her 

I hate him

“I’ll love you forever, always “

“Always”is my word.” Always “ was  my word. Always is infinite, not dependant not reliant of other objects or people. Not reliant on him. Nobody ever stayed for a while a while being whatever timeframe they decided to stay in my life before inevitably getting bored and moving on with their life. I’m happy for them, I really am. But deep down…no….. I’m happy for them, for him. He was a man of very few words according to some , Not me. We were perfect for each other in some sense. In another, we were each other’s hamartia feeding off each other until one or both of us broke. Shattering into miniscule pieces trampled on by a passing stranger in the street who had no idea the story behind this broken monument too busy dealing with their own ‘stuff’. I don’t like talking about myself I really don’t and only refer to it as a last option if I need to get my mind off ‘stuff’. Here it goes… my name is Nova Grace Westfield, I was previously doing a placement at a hospital near where I lived. I lived with my best friend Kay and her dog Frank. I like hockey and don’t like football or cricket or basket ball and lacrosse is alright I’ve never seen it enough to make a reasonable judgement. There, I think that’s all the information you need at this precise moment in time to be able to create an opinion on well me. My story starts when I was born but up until the age of 5 I can’t remember much, like at that age you began to be able to remember the day before but not the day before that. The ages of 5 up until 11 was me just being the kid who sat in the corner and who nobody really knew much about, who didn’t really have anyone to call their friend. And we don’t mention secondary school, I moved from group to group just latching onto whoever I could, in the group but not really in the group. Remember when we were in primary school and we drew what we wanted to be, wow was I wrong. A nurse. And before you say “ oh, how Nobel and brave of you nova giving up your life to save someone else’s”, about that, I feel awful, I’m not  the hero people think I am. Ive helped save millions of lives but for some reason I don’t get the good and warm feeling meant to come with it. Shut up Nova, you know the reason. I only enjoy my job because I see people out there that have it  worse than me, I enjoy it, seeing people suffer as I do. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Let’s just forget I said that okay, deep breath. I probably need to mention him, he was a key part of my life, he still is a key part of my life. He gave out pieces of himself but never let anyone see the entire picture until every little piece was gone. I saw it, I know who you are. Sat there, a ticking time bomb counting down each second before exploding uncontrollably before the timer even reached one. I could spot the signs, no official training needed, most people can’t, but I can. I’m the same. When nerves start to eat away at you, you have two methods of coping. Lash out or hold it in. And when holding it in becomes to painful, you let it out with no control of your body or mind, only the pain it is suffering. 

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