My Girl

My Girl

My body,

she defies me.

I let her define me.

I am at war with my skin,

my bones.

The way my clothes wrap tight,

round rolls of fat.

I hunched over scales,

I cried in mirrors.

Did everything,

anything.

Smoke filled my stomach,

fog masking hunger pain.

Fingers down my throat,

tryna turn back time with saltwater and the back end of a toothbrush.

Wrote ugly on the back of pictures,

just to paint them a little clearer.

Everything,

anything,

in search of that perfect figure.

Let a boy undress me,

stood naked,

replying,

“I’m sorry”.

Black rivers running from tired eyes.

Wondering where I pulled the short straw?

Wondering why?

those girls are beautiful,

Sculpted like art.

Enchanting smiles and picture-perfect tighs.

And then there’s

me.

But now they figure,

that my girl,

she looks like me.

The girl whom I love most in the world.

With that smile and those eyes,

the ones that light up the darkest of nights.

I look at her,

and I love what I see.

And they say that my girl,

she looks like me.

I am still at war with my skin,

my bones.

The way clothes wrap tight,

round rolls of fat.

I still hunch over scales,

still,

cry in mirrors.

I am still at war with my skin,

my bones.

But now…

Now I wanna fight.

I wanna win.

I’m gonna fight and I’m gonna win.

Cos this girl means the world,

way more than a perfect figure or pretty picture on a wall.

I’m not gonna fail her.

No,

I won’t let her down.

Cos my girl,

she deserves it all.

And my girl is perfect,

her skin.

Her bones.