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Moonacy

By @Nocturne

It was nice knowing you.

I know I ruin everything

I get it if you don’t know how to handle me.

I’m too scared to check if you’re there

Your presence would fling the finger at me.

I’m overthinking

But it feels like I’m not

I know I do this a lot

I hate me too.

It’s stupid to care about you this much

We’ve barely held an ordinary conversation as ordinary people

Just as people with literal distance between us,

Pure emptiness between us.

I’m stupid to care this much

We should’ve stopped at some point

I put too much weight on what we share

The weight might leave if I check

Or if you talk to me again

And what’s funny is I don’t really know when you would

Definitely not today

Or tomorrow

Maybe later tomorrow

Or even later, like last time

In the meantime,

I’ll destroy my head.

It’s funny how much the weight is leaning on you

It doesn’t even take long for you to lift that weight

I know I’m so fickle with a fat topping of needy

I’ve tried to smother Needy into oblivion

It’s worked with you, as far as I can remember

But Fickle has always been here

And you’d question the purpose of Fickle.

You act like we’re “good friends”

But really:

I’m the only one who f**king cares

You’re the assured one that can’t live without showers of support

And the funny thing is,

I do want to be on the giving end

You deserve it

Hence why

I can’t stop talking to you.

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