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Life’s Obstacle

By @turntechbandkid_

Finding Myself

I’ve faced some tough obstacles in life that shaped me into part of who I am now. Some of those obstacles were school, grades, making friends, moving away from home, friends, and family, and leaving behind everything I knew and grew up with. Another was my anxiety. That got so bad that I had to go to therapy and learn to eventually get over it. On a side note, I also had to go to physical therapy in 8th grade for my knee condition called Patellofemoral Syndrome. It has something to do with my leg alignment and being flat-footed. One of my hardest obstacles, that I’m still going through is my gender and sexual identity. I tried coming out as Transgender my freshman year of high school but my parents didn’t really approve and told me not to label myself and that I was too young to decide what I wanted/what I am. However, after two years of doing some figuring, I’ve been identifying as Gender Fluid or Gender Neutral because I don’t like feminine pronouns and I feel like masculine pronouns only make sense some of the time so I identify more with they/them pronouns. Now with my sexuality, I thought I was Bisexual, then Gay, Bi-romantic, Polyamory, now Pan-romantic. Meaning I don’t like someone because of their gender, I like them because they are themselves. I don’t really care about gender, but I will still respect it. My parents don’t know any of this and they think I’m still Bisexual, but I’ll tell them soon. I’ve been questioning my sexuality before I moved here, after 8th grade. Speaking of moving, that’s what started my depression and anxiety. I was torn apart from the inside-out when I found out that I was leaving Washington, all of my friends and family are there. I think with my anxiety and depression and stress added on, I finally blew up Sophomore year and that’s when I started therapy. I’ve been put through a lot of difficult tasks like figuring out in 3rd grade that I’m half adopted and that some of my family members got sick and passed away of cancer, stroke, dementia, suicide, etc. I’m honestly a little surprised I made it through some of that stuff, but I’m proud of myself for doing so. My life has been pretty great as of now, except being confused on what sport and classes I want to do and take next year. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!

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