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Life’s Obstacle #2

By @turntechbandkid_

Finding Myself

I’ve faced some tough obstacles in life that’s helped shape me into part of who I am today. Some of these obstacles include school, grades, and making friends. One of the largest tasks I’ve gone through was moving away from home, friends, family, and leaving behind everything I knew and grew up with. Another was my anxiety. That got so bad that I had to go to therapy and learn to eventually get over it. On a side note, I also had to go to physical therapy in 8th grade for my knee condition. It’s called Patellofemoral Syndrome, or “runner’s knee”. It has something to do with my incorrect leg alignment and being flat-footed. A difficult obstacle that’s taken me a while to get through is my gender and sexual identity. I tried coming out as Transgender my freshman year of high school but my parents didn’t really approve and told me not to label myself and that I was too young to decide what I wanted/what I am. However, after two years of doing some figuring, I’ve been identifying as Gender Fluid or Gender Neutral because I don’t like feminine pronouns and I feel like masculine pronouns only make sense some of the time so I identify more with they/them pronouns. Now with my sexuality, I thought I was Bisexual, then Gay, Biromantic, Polyamory, now Panromantic. Meaning I don’t like someone because of their gender, I like them because they are themselves. I don’t really care about gender, but I will still respect it. My parents don’t know any of this and they think I’m still Bisexual, but I’ll tell them soon. I’ve been questioning my sexuality before I moved here, after 8th grade. Speaking of moving, that’s what started my depression and anxiety. I was torn apart from the inside-out when I found out that I was leaving Washington, all of my friends and family are there. I think with my anxiety and depression and stress added on, I finally blew up Sophomore year and that’s when I started therapy. I’ts also part of the reason as to why I listen to music a lot and don’t really talk to people often. I’ve been put through a lot of difficult tasks like figuring out in 3rd grade that I’m half adopted and that some of my family members got sick and passed away of cancer, stroke, dementia, suicide, etc.My two favorite quotes that I came up with to help me through all of this are, “My scars tell stories of my past and made me who I am today.” and “In order to get to the rainbow, you have to get through the storm. And sometimes you need help along the way, and that’s just fine.” I’m honestly a little surprised I made it through some of that stuff, but I’m proud of myself for doing so. My life has been pretty great as of now, except being confused on what sport and classes I want to do and take next year. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!

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