Life Afraid

Part Three

My phone vibrates when I get to my locker. I’m surprised to see something from Erica… it’s really long.

Okay, Special, this is kind of hard to say… but I have to come clean at some point. I’m a boy. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I had a sort-of good reason. I was afraid you would suddenly like me and want to date me… but I won’t live my life afraid. I’m sorry, I really am. I hope you forgive me.

Wow. This is not at all what I expected.

Okay… was everything else you told me a lie too?

The amount of time I have to wait for a reply kills me. 

I think we should talk in person.

I’m stunned by the sudden change of heart on that part, but do a fist pump. His name is probably ‘Eric’, or maybe I should just call him ‘Erica’. Heading to my first-period class, I can’t decide.

In front of Starbucks, staring at my phone.

Meet me at Starbucks.

I take a breath and walk in. A lot of people I know are here, Brittany, Lily, Ethan, Ross… Oh ****, Ross. I duck and look around, I can’t even name all the guys here, how am I supposed to know which is Erica?

“Ross!” The girl at the counter shouts, Ross hurries over and takes his drink, he turns and looks at me. He walks over, smirking. I growl.

“Hey, Lesba.”

“Hey, Dunce.”

He frowns, “You know what? I’m not even in the mood today. I’m looking for a friend.”

“You know what? Me too! So–” I stick out my tongue at him.

He blinks, “Did you just stick your tongue out at me?”

I give a look that says, duh. “Yeah, childish, but yeah.”

He shakes his head, “Just get out of my sight!” He growls.

I slightly squeak and scurry away, then I get a text from Erica;

I ordered your favorite coffee, if you’re here, just take it when they call ‘Special’.

I smile, when my name is called, I’ll meet Erica.

“Special?”

The shout is more of a question, I grin and head over to take it, the girl just smiles back.

“How lovely of a name…” I ignore her fake enthusiasm and take the coffee, I turn around to see Ross staring at me.

I look around him for Erica, finally looking at him, “What?”

“‘Special’?”

I sigh, “I know, I know. But that’s not my real name, it’s just a username.”

“You’re, Special?!” He thunders.

I feel small, but then it strikes me, “Erica?”

People are staring and I feel smaller. Oh my God, Ross is Erica! The guy who’s been bullying me is the girl who helped me with that bully!

“Let’s take this outside!” he says through gritted teeth, taking my arm and pulling me to the door. I’ve never been so close to him as he pulled me around the corner into a shadowed area. Once we’re out of sight, he lets me go and puts a hand over his face. I take a small sip of my coffee, it’s exactly how I love it.

“I guess I should give you the money for the coffee…” I whisper.

He stands up straight, “No, I’m still paying for it.”

I reach into my pocket and pull out a ten, I hand it out to him, which is not very hard because we’re so close I could boop his nose with mine.

He pushes my hand away, and I narrow my eyes, “Take it.”

“No!” He shifts away from me, I pull out his left jean pocket and put the money in there. He jumps when my hand comes into contact with his jeans.

His hand shoves into his pocket and tosses the money behind him, “There, you happy?”

I push past him, once he can’t see my face I let a smile find its way onto my face. I pick up the bill he’d thrown behind him and pocket it. I turn back to him, a small smile planted on his face.

“So… Erica. I don’t need any more explanation.”

He looks hurt, “But… I had my reason! Just let me explain–“

“Nope,” I wave him off, “I’ve heard and understood enough.” I smile warmly, “I understand.”

Relief washes over him, “I would hate if you didn’t.”

“But! Why were you such a bully?”

He looks scared again, “I-I don’t know. I just was..” That’s not the truth, and I know it’s not.

“Liar.”

He freezes, “What?”

“Liar!”

He blinks, “I am not!”

“Lies! Tell me the real reason!” We’ve inched out into the open, I look over seeing people looking at us through the window. Ross follows my line of sight and scowls, taking my shoulders and pulling me back into the shadows. His hands grip my shoulders tightly, and the feeling makes me grin. We’re extremely close again, and this time I don’t feel like running away.

“You know how some people say that a guy will act mean to a girl he likes..?”

I nod, confused. Then I get it. “Holy ****. You don’t mean–“

“Yeah yeah, whatever!”

I’ve never allowed myself to have a crush on Ross. My God, is he hot, his hair, his amazing body… My legs turn to jelly… “No,” I whisper.

His face softens, “What?”

I look up at him, I’ve had a year to get to know both sides of this guy, but I feel like I barely know him at all. His hands gently cup my jaw, looking me in the eye.

His lips are soft against mine, a kiss burning with a passionate fire, his hips right up against mine, if he didn’t have a hold on my shoulders, I’d have collapsed to the ground long before.

I’m kissing the guy who bullied be before, and who I thought was a girl named Erica… is my life becoming a cliche?