Jasper watched from his car as they lowered his mother into the ground. He couldn’t bring himself to be with them. All the pain he’d been holding in had been swelling inside his heart. If he went over there, he knew he’d be a mess. Ronda, Amber. Ben and Emily all crowed around the grave. Amber had tried to get him to go over, but he refused.
“Coward, that’s what I am. A ******* coward,” Jasper thought as everyone started to say their goodbyes. Ronda looked back at him. Her eyes were full of tears. She wanted him to come over. He could tell. Jasper shook his head, and she turned back to the funeral. He wasn’t ready. Not now. Probably never.
Ben looked back at him and scowled. The hate coming off of him was impossible to ignore. Emily tried to say something to Ben, but he ignored her. Instead, he just glared at Jasper. Only breaking their eye contact when the funeral director asked him a question. Ben and Emily followed him back inside the funeral home. He knows he should be in there too.
Ronda and Amber walked back over to Jasper’s car and got inside. “Don’t say it. I know I should go inside. But I can’t. I’d only make things worse,” Jasper said.
“I wasn’t going to. You’re handling this differently. The fact you came is more than enough,” Ronda said. She put her arms around him. “I’m so sorry, Jazz.”
“Take all the time you need,” Amber said.
Jasper’s eyes drifted back to his mother’s grave. “I’m here, mom. I made it. I know I’m late. But I’m here. So, don’t worry,” Jasper thought as he started sobbing. “I’m here. I made it. I’m here. Mom, please. Don’t go!” Jasper shouted. Ronda tightened her hug.
“It’s okay. She knows. I know she knows,” Ronda cried.
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