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istillloveyou

By @yummy

hating you.

i spent days, weeks, nights, and months degrading, and hating myself to love you. i broke myself to give you everything you wanted. i compromised my morals to give you what you needed. somewhere along the way, i lost myself in you because when i look at me all i can see is your face. you were all i knew for a very long time, now that you just up and left i don’t know how to function. i hate you for breaking me like this, and i hate myself for letting you. but i love you for showing me that i can be me without you. i became wrapped in a sick cycle that you call love and i call pretending. i clung to you because i was scared to lose you and let you go forever. i hate you for letting me hold you in my arms and letting me think it would last forever. i hate you for destroying my perception of love. i hate you for letting me fall and not catching me. you let my hands slip away like they were coated in oil. you let me drown while you sat comfortably on a float. you let me sink in the quicksand while you grabbed a branch and escaped. you moved on before we were even finished. i hate you for stringing me along like a puppet. i hate you.

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