What you will need:
most of all
Step 1: Invite the troublemaking, but entertaining, neighbor over with the intention to find something fun to do at home. However, do not discuss this genius plan until the babysitter’s time is up and she is out of the house.
Step 2: Place the zebra step stool inside the pantry and have the tallest person reach for the pam cooking oil to put the plan in place. Make sure to not be the one spraying the cooking oil so you are not blamed and can get away with being the smarter child.
Step 3: Clear out the hallway area surrounding the back bench and pop the top off of the cooking oil. Use every last bit of the spray and cover every centimeter of wood for the best (or worst) results. Do not forget to spray the corners, creases, and every single little crack!
Step 4: Put the ballet slippers, socks, or any other thin foot cover on to act as skates for this indoor arena. Now, it’s time for the real fun! Slip, slide, and fall around the back hallway with no thought about any consequences.
Step 5: Wait for your heart to drop as the back door directly next to the new indoor ice rink opens. Scramble and hurry in hopes of making the ice rink disappear before someone steps foot on the slippery wood. Now it is time to perform the “I’m sorry” face.
Step 6: Sit through the pain of looking up at a really angry mom who is more concerned about her beautiful wooden kitchen floors than the fear and stress she is causing three children right in front of her. Quietly and patiently wait as she calls a friend with the request of borrowing a degreaser to solve this problem.
Step 7: Force the tears to start rolling as it could be a possible way out, and make sure to explain how it is NOT your fault, but the two other people who you earlier had sprayed the oil instead. Pray that she believes you and do not allow the tears to stop until nothing less than this happens.
Step 8: Now, time to reflect, apologize, and beg for forgiveness. Even if you get away with placing the blame on the two other people involved, make sure to deeply apologize to confirm even less blame is put on you. Offer your assistance to help with the degreaser, but act like you have no clue how to work it so you can get out of this too.
Step 9: Never forget this story and make sure to bring it up at least three times each year.
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