The End of Everything
I think I am done.I thought I was going to be Ok but nothing seems to be going that way.I am not Ok, the fake smiles ,the meaningless pleasantries and the people I call friends they mean nothing , I am not even sure if i mean anything now, Can i get a **** break ? I am tired of trying hard and failing , i am tired of being in cuffs, I am tired of screaming “I didn’t do it”and tired of knowing my husband is itching to leave me.The only thing is I can’t take a stand i have had an habit of being pushed around, always did . I wish I could go ahead and take it out on someone or finally tell them that I am not lying that I am innocent. No one seems to care now, everyone looks at me as if i deserve this all. I don’t do well in such situations, my therapist always said jail wouldn’t be a good place for me, she said i wouldn’t survive, well look at me , i am alive after all , dead from inside, no hopes of being claimed innocent, losing everything i loved along the way. I wish she was right. I wish I was dead. No, I can’t kill myself ,my lawyer said that would prove my guilt. My guilt?? I have no guilt, I was Ok, life was fine, A sweet husband, Two kids, A best friend i could trust with my life and a whole company that I started from scratch.Now, I have nothing, Well that might be incorrect,I have my divorce papers, a lost custody of my twins, a hostile takeover of my company and my best friend who’s murder charges have been placed on my head.