I Remember

I Remember

I remember what it was like when we used to have Friday Game Nights and I remember the song my sister had come up with. The song she sang just before we took the board games down. The song she used to sing in that stupid fake accent and we’d laugh and–

I remember what it was like when we used to wake up at three in the morning and get ready to go fishing because the fish are more likely to bite. The fishing trips where I would catch the guppies and the fishing trips that turned into amazing father time while my mom sat there watching us and we’d laugh and–

I remember what it was like when we used to think everything was okay. What it was like to think that the relationship between my father and mother would last forever and we’d keep taking the food before all of it was done and mom’s reaction is funny and we’d laugh–

I remember what it was like when we sat in the waiting room. The feeling of hating the thought of you and if you walked through that door I’d yell and scream at you and you’d make everything go back to being right again and we’d go back to Friday Game Nights and fishing trips and eating the food before it was done and we’d laugh–

I remember what it was like when I found out about her. About the girl, you left us for and about the child she was carrying and how it was yours and I remember my History teacher calling me to her desk and–

I wasn’t laughing.

I wasn’t smiling.

I wasn’t happy.

Are you okay? Your grades are dropping. You’re not focusing in class and you were doing fine a week ago.

Yes, I’m fine.

No. No, I’m not fine.

I’m not fine and I’m not okay. My dad, my hero, and my best friend left us for a girl half his age. A girl that can’t even take care of her son that she already has. A girl that knows he’s married but doesn’t care.

No, I’m not fine and I’m not okay because I remember. I remember being happy and I remember all the good times and I remember being okay. I remember the long Friday nights when my brother used to leave his room and when he didn’t turn to video games. I remember when we’d play the Wii or the Xbox and I remember when you taught me how to shoot a pellet gun and I messed up and you laughed and together we’d laugh–

I miss laughing.

I miss when I thought everything was okay.

I miss happiness.

I miss when the only heartbreak was when mom and dad had to leave for work.

I miss my dog, may she rest in peace.

I miss the front living room.

I miss when we all used to watch The Walking dead as a family.

I miss when we were a family.

I miss the fun.

I miss the games.

I miss the–