Chapter 1
Hold Onto Me
Dear Diary,
My heart is aching, crying out for some type of a feeling, like relief or satisfaction. This English class is boring, I block out all of the noise, allowing myself to try to go into a world of comfort. It is hard, but daydreaming helps a tiny bit. Dreaming of a place where there is no pain, no hurt, just love and comfort.
That is all I wish for. A place where I can feel welcome. A place where I can be free of the burdens I carry. I sit alone, watching all of the other girls laugh, smile, and just have a good time in general.
While at the same time, my life is like a lion trying to escape the zoo. Unable to, he stays, suffering, hurting. My mom used to call me a lion because she says I am a fighter. When the truth is, I am not a fighter, I do not want to fight this battle, but I have to try.
My mom always gave me a roof over my head, food, and provided clothes, but what else? She does not provide love, support, or any caring emotions towards me. I think that she is not the type to show emotions. Everyone has them, but lots of people are afraid to show them. Because they can take over easily, that is only if you let them.
Poetry is my thing, it allows me to write my feelings in a way that expresses art. My favorite poem ( by me ) is this..
Eating is pain
It will make you gain
Anxiety is hurt
It makes you alert
Depression is sadness
It is madness
It is not the best, but it explains peoples feelings and the mental illness they have to deal with
I have to go, time for lunch, which is my personal hell. I will write more when I get home. See you then.
