How to fail school

Congratulations, newly minted high schooler. Now that you are here, you only have four more years until you graduate. So why spend them struggling to get good grades when you can just work at the fast food place down the street.

Failing school and dropping out is a tradition of high schoolers all over the world. It goes all the way back to beginning of school. With my how to fail school DVD series, you can be failing and dropping out in no time!

Seven essentials to get you started:

1. Show up whenever you want. Classes start times are just recommendations right? Why show up on time when you would much rather be talking to your friends in the hallways?
2. Don’t do your homework. This is a must for every high schooler pursuing failing. Not only will your grades be dropping faster than you can imagine, you will also create tons of missing assignments to decorate your gradebook with.
3. If you decide to show up, tune out whenever the teacher is talking. If you listen to what they’re saying you might actually learn. Look out the window, count the hairs on your head. Anything is better than paying attention. Why spend your time learning when you’re just going to fail anyways.
4. Make sure to distract others during class. Your just doing them a favor. They’d much rather be listening to your jokes instead of the treacher, right?
5. Spend as much time as possible on your phone. It’s better just to completely ignore the teacher instead of looking like you paying attention. You will also get the benefit of keeping up to date on all your notifications.
6. Whatever you do, don’t study for tests. If you do you might actually have a chance of passing and then you would have to stick around longer . Why get 100% when you can fill your paper with red pen?
7. Skip school as much as possible. Why show up to the place that you are trying to get out of? Plan your life as an adult without a highschool diploma. Who cares about the truancy officer anyways?

Now that you know the basics, it’s time to put your skills to the test in the real world. For more instruction on how to fail school, you can buy my how to fail school DVD series for all you could ever need to know and more about how to fail school.