It was so evident that from the first time he saw me, he would be the one. I still remember the moment his eyes met mine; It was a feeling I’ve never had experienced before. I remember staring at him, and feeling I was home, in a place I was safe and protected. The thing is, I didn’t just fall for his looks, but somehow I knew that without him saying a word, he was someone special. I instantly felt a connection with him; I hadn’t felt with any other guy I knew.
His eyes, the most influential weapon he could possess. All it took was a look from him to change my day entirely, and maybe, my entire life. It was so unrealistic witnessing how he suddenly became my center of attention at all hours, every day; and most shocking of all is that all it took was a single look in his eyes. Because as they always told me, “the eyes chica, they never lie.” From that moment on, I understood that the eyes, they always belong to the person who makes them shine.
It was a constant search everyday and everywhere; at school, restaurants, clubs, and parties, but for some reason, he was never there. I went to bed at night feeling empty and sore because I missed his eyes too much and I needed him to be close to me. I regularly spoke to my friends about him, but they never supported me in any way. That’s when I realized that the game I was playing, had space for one player only.
I didn’t understand the power of love. I had always portrayed it to be so beautiful, but little did I know it was so painful and complicated. I didn’t realize I was actually in love with him until it was me, gasping for air, crying my mascara off, thinking why I wasn’t good enough. I never saw it coming, and worst of all, I didn’t expect myself becoming vulnerable to him.
Falling in love meant I was giving my heart to him and hoping he will not break it. It involved, giving him the absolute power to destroy and rip me in pieces, and even though it was the most common thing for him to do, I still inside hoped he´d not. It’s so challenging realizing how lost I got in his eyes, but it was worse knowing that he´ll never be mine.
It was weeks after when I had the opportunity of seeing him once more. The way he looked at me; it was a look I had never seen in the world. It was the moment the stared at me when I realized who owned my heart, and who was the writer of it. The emotions that came to me when I saw him were a mix of love and anger. Even though I loved seeing him, and being able to look at his eyes, It broke me apart knowing, those eyes will never be mine.
It hurt me profoundly seeing him with someone else. Hugging another girl and kissing her to death. It was at the end of the week when I realized I didn’t accomplish anything, and another week had gone by without him saying a word. It made me sick knowing that he doesn’t understand how much he meant to me, and how much tears and sleepless nights I’ve had wasted because of him.
Loving hurts; falling for someone does too. I didn’t know how to erase my feelings, and I didn’t know how to accept the fact, he will never be in my arms. I had to forget him, for he is was only causing me pain and sadness inside me. I had to get through this, and I was open to doing whatever it took to get him out of my head.
All of the feelings had taken over my soul and my entire being. I couldn’t live having him in my heart, but not in my arms. It was going to be difficult forgetting him, and remembering how much of me adores him. He was the saddest, yet most beautiful way life told me I couldn’t have everything I would want. Maybe I did believe we could end up together, but deep inside I knew that all was going to end up in a heartbreak, just like every love story I’ve lived. The time will one day come when I realized I didn’t need him anymore, and when that moment finally arrived, I would become the happiest person alive.
Thanks to you, I discovered what love is, because of you, I found a side of me I didn’t even know existed. I will miss you, there’s no doubt about that, but I have to move on for you do me no good. You’ll stay in my heart forever; I will never forget you.