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Hands

By @Me-the-Rookie

You weren’t sure how long it had been since it happened. All you knew was that you had stopped counting the days in an effort to ease the pain. In an effort to try and make yourself forget about what had happened…your efforts, however, were useless. Deep down you knew this to be the case but you just couldn’t help yourself.

Some days you wished that you had never met him. Even though the days you had together were the best days of your life you couldn’t help but wish them away. Away from your memory which was now always filled with sorrow and away from your heart which was always broken. Those around you were worried about you, always going off alone to his grave, disappearing for hours on end, and when you finally returned to them always only retreating to your bed in defeat.

You were fighting an internal battle that only you knew about and it was consuming you body and soul. You longed to see him one more time, feel his touch one more time, and the more you wished it the more you retracted yourself from others. No one understood, the only person who would have known what you had gone through was now gone and all because he had fought to protect you.

The man you loved was gone and you felt it was all your fault.

Your mind was constantly drifting back to that night, the night in the dark city streets where it happened.

The night when your sorrows began.

Today was your worst day yet and as you lie in your bed your face to the wall you could feel the pillow beneath your head soaked by your silent tears. You clutched your blanket tighter around yourself and squeezed your eyes shut in a weak attempt to will your tears to stop, to will yourself asleep. After awhile you started feeling drowsy and relaxed your muscles.

As you drifted on the edge of consciousness you felt something cold brush against your cheek. As if the cool air was wiping away your tears. The next instant the feeling was gone and you found yourself longing for the feeling that had just been present.

You opened your weary eyes to see him lying beside you, his pale eyes filled with emotion. You were shocked to seem him in this state, a ghost coming back to you after being apart for so long.

He reached for your face once again and gently brushed a strand of hair from your eyes. Even though his touch was weak and cold you still pressed your cheek into his gentle hand. He shifted on the bed and brought his faint cold lips to your forehead where he planted a final kiss full of more love than you’d ever felt from him before. He smiled at you and then silently held your hands. You felt him willing you to sleep. You closed your eyes and treasured the feeling of his cold hands holding yours once again.

Soon you were once more on the edge of consciousness and as you drifted off you heard a final “I love you”. As you dropped off into a deep sleep he watched over you, one last time before he was finally required to leave you again.

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