I feel like I’m sinking underwater and can’t see what is above me anymore.
There’s no light and no life within these veins that I need to fulfill me.
All around me all I hear are these words that mean nothing to me…
Get a useful job they say
You’re kind, funny, smart, they say.
All you need is a man and children that’ll help they say.
I only feel better when her lips are on mine
I only feel like lightning fills my veins as I see her smile just once ONCE
When I see a good grade because I tried for once and didn’t just slap something down on a piece of paper,
Or when I can make another happy
Or when I place that sharp edge against my skin
And see my crimson flow from those cuts.
But they tell me that’s wrong.
What’s wrong is the world.
The world is wrong.
It’s grey and it’s dark.
And I am sinking down under the load
And I am tired of fighting for a world that is telling me that I need to have something that I don’t want!
I am tired of fighting for others to be happy when I feel like just being in this space
So going under
is the best idea