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Familiar Things

By @VaticanCameos

This Is Why I Don't Socialize

[Author’s Note: Grammar advice is greatly appreciated]


Familiars were creatures of legend. Guiding spirits, existing to give counsel and aid in casting spells. This one had only uttered a few words since he’d arrived. It’d been straight out of the blue, no big world-ending events, a simple nod, and a wave. “Ambrosius?” That was all he said after knocking on my apartment door. “It’s Simon,” I corrected him gently but he ignored `the comment as well as any of my questions.


He was an odd sort of guy, too quiet(he could stalk around like a cat when he wanted). It was strange, he didn’t look like a powerful spirit. More like someone who needs only one more cup of coffee to function . His eyes brown with a yellow tint hinting at something unnatural. Pale blond hair with even paler skin made me almost want to spray him down with garlic, just to make sure he wasn’t undead. “You got a name, or like a nickname or something?” Cue death glare in my direction. “It’s Feli,” he muttered after what felt like an eternity of silence.


“Short for Felipe?” Another death glare, silence for a heartbeat. Feli tilted his head, like a kitten noticing something shiny. “Your name, it means that you are a descendant of Merlin, yes?” I blinked, surprised he’d put the pieces together so fast. Most people assumed it was some fancy title that’d stuck throughout the years. Feli smirked, taking my surprise for an answer and returning to his silent brooding. Were all familiars this cryptic?


I shook my head, making my way towards the door. “I need coffee so if you want anything, now would be the time to ask.” Feli didn’t respond, got to his feet and pushed past me into the hall. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Closing the door I chuckled, watching him head towards the stairwell. “You even know where the place is?” No response, seemed like he was doing it to **** me off. I scowled, muttering something about not paying for whatever garbage he got. He’d made it down at least two flights before I finally caught up, out of breath and the beginnings of a migraine. “Are you always this much of a jerk?” Feli offered only a small smile in return before hurrying down to the ground floor.


I’d only know Feli for less than a week. I was already wanting to boot him back into whatever freaky dark alley he came from. The dude drank black coffee, no sugar, nothing. What monster doesn’t like sweet things? According to the universe, it was guardian spirits who resemble homeless vampires. This whole thing was starting to sound like a horrible punchline to some twisted cosmic joke. “It’s not a joke, this universe doesn’t have a sense of humor.” Feli’s voice was quiet but sudden enough to jolt me out of my thoughts. “How’d you-”

He laughed a sardonic chuckle. “Magic users aren’t that hard to read, Ambrosius. It makes it easy for familiars to sense how they can best help. It’s like an evolutionary thing, something to help both groups survive a little easier.” It was my turn to scowl, “That’s your answer, science?” He shrugged, sipping his coffee. “Magic is science you can’t explain, nothing special.”


For future reference: three in the morning is way too early for magical crises. Feli had decided that the most effective way to wake me up was poking me in the eye. He didn’t explain, muttering something about auras and something being wrong. “It’s the middle of the night, figure it out yourself…” I mumbled, still half asleep and burrowed under blankets. “I’m not joking,” Feli grumbled, punctuating each word with a jab to my face. Strange enough it reminded me of a cat. You know the ones that run around at 2 am to wreak havoc on your sleep schedule?


“Ambrosius get up n-” He stopped, cut off by a pillow I’d flung at his face. His glare was almost burning a hole in the back of my head. “Fine, be an ass then.” The room was silent like the world was holding its breath, waiting to see what would happen next. Like some sort of tragic moment in a primetime sitcom. Was I supposed to wait for goofy cue music and a laugh track? Comfort the dude who was pouting over the situation? Waiting for the former seemed safer than bug Feli after all his first thought was to stab me in the eye.

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