Fairy Lights

Fairy lights

are strung on

the end

of my bed.

I gaze at them

thoughts twirling around in my head.

My gaze, blurs

my hand, slips

I think and I forget

Were you even really real?

Tripping

into a dreamstate

Is this fantasy?

Or reality?

I

can’t tell

the difference

any

more.

I am Alice

this, my Wonderland

The bright colours

distorting, distracting

from the truth.

Those aren’t sweets, Alice-

Choking on a mouthful of pills,

I wake up in a cold sweat.

The clock echoes, loudly

competing with my heartbeat for dominance.

But neither compare

to the screaming in my head.

Slowly, groggily,

I reach for the blister pack beside my bed.

Is it really dependency

…if you need it to survive?