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Diplomatic Witchcraft

By @PlotYeast

Diplomatic Witchcraft

“Don’t freak out!” a woman sitting on the countertop shouts as you walk into the kitchen. You let out an irritated breath as you look at the wispy woman and the hooded figure preparing coffee right next to her. In one hand the hooded figure held a scythe and in the other a pot of coffee.

It was going to be a long day.

You assumed that the protective sigils you placed around the house would give you a temporary break from the supernatural world your life is a part of now. Guess not. You should have known that the literal god of death would be immune to the magic of a witch like you. Still, you found it very rude of them to just barge in like that. 

The spirits that had yet to be taken to the afterlife rapidly orbit around the reaper in a black smoke and you can tell Death themself is stressed. The collector of souls finishes pouring two more cups of coffee, handing one to you and their assistant Margaret. She claims to be one of the first humans to ever exist. Due to some bureaucratic issues in the spirit world after her burial she became stuck between worlds. The spiritual world was still adjusting to the existence of souls within mortal bodies at the time, resulting in quite a few humans falling through the cracks of the rushed afterlife system. 

Despite reformations granting Margaret the chance to move on millennia ago, she had chosen to stay and now spends her eternity helping Death guide fellow spirits onward. Margaret takes a sip from her cup and lets out a satisfied sigh.

“It’s been a century since I’ve had anything to drink,” she gives you a smile and a part of you thinks she’s telling the truth.

Staring at the coffee, you watch ripples bounce around and slowly fade away. You’re not much of a coffee drinker but you’ve been rather exhausted from working with Death. The extra energy would help a ton. You drink the coffee, finding it very bitter.

Once everyone finishes their cup they turn to you expectantly. You stare back for a few seconds until you realize they’re waiting on you. Your cheeks burn as you pull out your phone and call one of your friends, Sarah. She’s the keystone for everything, not you. Therefore, despite your greater knowledge of the spiritual world and its ongoings, everything had to be conducted with her help– the help of an atheist.

Though after everything Sarah really should at least consider herself agnostic. You’re snapped out of your slightly petulant thinking by a voice coming from your phone.



“Oh hey, good morning… I gotta come over?” Her voice sounded distorted, though it could be the signal.

“Yeah, we’re waiting for you.” There’s a pause before you add, “Good morning to you as well.”

Sarah is anxious. You don’t need to see her to know she’s already half tangled in the landline cable. 

“Okay… I’ll head over there now. Should be there in a few minutes.”

You hang up and inform the two deities Sarah’s on her way. The storm of spirits slows down and the reaper’s shoulders loosen slightly as Margaret smiles approvingly.

Now all you can do is wait for Sarah to arrive for the real job to begin.

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