Depression

By @KaylaClover

Depression

By @KaylaClover

A short story about what it feels like to have depression. I hope it makes even a little sense.

Chapter 1

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She stared dispassionately at the ever flickering monitor. She sighed deeply, if it made a ripple in the dust clouding the air around her, it went unnoticed. Her eyes, might once have been pretty, but now they reflected the darkness around her and not even the glowing screen in front of her could be seen within them. She looked up, she looked around, her eyes took in none of her surroundings, not the loose grey walls, not nor the pathetic shafts of light. She lingered on those shafts of light long enough for a thought to bubble up within the endless ocean of her mind, they were stupid lights, they just pretended to be sunlight. They were as small as the hope she had left, and just as pointless. 

Once she had tried to escape, but her cell had no doors and the scratch where light came through was nothing more than false dreams. Her gaze fell on the screen again. She couldn’t tell what it showed and she didn’t care enough to either, so she closed her eyes and rested, the darkness behind her eye lids was the only real thing there. Once she had known what sunlight was like, and once she had laughed, loved and lived, but now, she could barely even remember those words let alone the feelings behind them. She lay back on the dust encrusted floor, she breathed, dust filled her lungs, she didn’t cough though, She breathed out and as she exhaled she let all her vague memories slip away. All she had now was, the dark room, the pointless monitor and false hope.

 

The girl had even stopped thinking she was a person, had stopped remembering what should have happened, what should be happening, she was a dead person living. A success. A failure. So they left the girl to rot. Left her nothing but a dead, empty shell. No sense of being, no I’s, no me, just an idea that she was once a she. 

 

She shifted to lie on her side, she kept her eyes shut and tried to think but, it all just washed over her. Dust began to settle and became the only thing to comfort and hold her. 

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